Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff has joined the line-up of Sharknado 3, a casting that feels so logical, it’s like it’s happened already.
Of course Mitch Buchannon can help when Florida is hit by a tornado spitting out sharks. He’s like the lifeguard. He will, you know, guard lives when sharks start flying out of the sky during a storm and eating people mid-air – if not simply swimming up the street for a chomp on an ankle or two – for the third time. Different locations mind, it’s not Groundhog Day.
The Hoff joining means we should definitely get some great slow-mo running action. In tiny red swim shorts, naturally. That’s all Baywatch was about, right? Running and swimming costumes… anyway.
He’ll also need to wield a chainsaw. If we’ve learnt anything from the past two films, it’s that anyone holding a chainsaw is a winner. Fin (Ian Ziering) chainsawed his way out of a shark’s stomach in the first one and April (Tara Reid) turned her hand into a chainsaw in Sharknado: The Second one, for goodness sake. Her actual hand. Chainsaws make winners in a Sharknado, people.
Oh wait, he’s totally already on this. Good work David.
You just know the Hoff is going to yell “You don’t hassel the Hoff” at some point too as he blasts a killer shark out of his way. Maybe sing an inspiring song as he does so. And of course he’s got a fittingly fishy name: Gilbert Sheperd. His son is Fin, the current expert on ending Sharknados. Fin, Gil… we see where they’re going here. It’s like a cerebral workout.
The Hoff may meet a sticky end though; cameo stars don’t have much luck. Kelly Osbourne lasted mere minutes, as did Perez Hilton. 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander tried to convince us his character may have actually survived, but he’s a no show for film three and I’ve had it confirmed that he did indeed die. But as long as we get to see a shark spit out those tiny red shorts, I think we’ll all be pretty happy with the Hoff’s role.
Plus, we can start #Hoffnado trending.
Sharknado 3 will be broadcast in the UK within 24 hours of the US premiere on Syfy this July