1. Hope spring
A heart-shreddingly intense visual metaphor of the human condition, directed by an anonymous film-maker with a modernist, almost brutalist style that is nevertheless hauntingly poetic and calls to mind the work of Kiarostami, Loach or the Dardenne brothers.
Can the slinky stay on the treadmill? Again and again it tries to avoid falling off the right-hand side and onto the ground (death), but every step it takes is cancelled out by the relentless, godless march of the treadmill (time). Feel your heart tremble at the moment when it stumbles, as we all must on our lifelong quests for spiritual enlightenment, but then rights itself and walks on, refusing to give in. Sympathise as it flirts with the madness of the sides of the treadmill. And yet, although we know the slinky must eventually succumb to the endless conveyor and be cast aside to rust, the film offers us hope by ending with the slinky still on the treadmill. Still fighting. Still existing. Still slinking.
2. Angelina not so Jolie
Not just a scientifically fascinating optical illusion, but a very satisfying one: if you are shown two faces with their eyelines aligned so that each is in your peripheral vision (keep your eyes on the cross!), they look grotesque. Make the faces those of sickeningly attractive Hollywood superstars and you’ve got something deeply cheering.
3. “I’ve already wrapped it in a form of sealant wax”
The most excited man in the stadium in Munich last Saturday night? Not Didier Drogba, John Terry, Roman Abramovich or even George Osborne. It was Chelsea fan Robin Cooper, who sensationally came away with the match ball and now plans to laminate it. Robin chatted to Alan Green on 5 Live, despite not existing: he’s the creation of Friday Night Dinner writer Robert Popper. Surprisingly, 5 Live repeated part of this obviously ludicrous contribution in a later news round-up of the evening’s events.
4. Hallo, Denver
Remember the kooky kids doing the scarily proficient Rammstein cover? Their viralness evidently reached far enough to touch Rammstein themselves, who magnificently then recruited the Children Medieval Band to open for them in front of thousands of people in Denver. Are the kids overawed? Not likely.
5. Will Smith does the Fresh Prince rap on the Graham Norton show
Will Smith does the Fresh Prince rap on the Graham Norton show.