Can you call yourself a Doctor Who fan when you haven’t even watched half the series? That’s the question that’s been plaguing me for the past six months as I’ve dipped a tentative toe into the Tardis and embarked on a journey in space and time.
I hate to break it to you, dear RadioTimes.com readers, but before I moved to London I *shock, horror* was NOT a Doctor Who fan. In fact, I took one look at David Tennant in his long brown coat and wrote The Doctor off as a crazy Barty Crouch look-a-like who probably over-acted every scene.
Park that urge to delete/exterminate me for a second: I’m not quite done just yet.
Six months later, I’m still reeling from the departure of Ten, having fallen completely in love with him during an intense six-month Who induction.
What was the point of this exercise, you might ask? Well, I figured that if I was going to work at RadioTimes.com, the home of Doctor Who fan delights, I’d best educate myself. I just never expected to actually like the series, let alone become incredibly emotionally invested in it.
I sobbed with Rose when she was sucked into the void, cowered beneath cushions at the sight of approaching Cybermen, and almost spent a sleepless night jumping at the sound of a ringing telephone after the empty child came looking for his missing mummy.
As for my tendency to laugh, rather than cower, at the sight and sound of Daleks? Let’s not mention the Time War.
Now, with just four weeks to go until series nine hits TV screens, I find myself in a bit of a pickle: I’ve got 28 days to watch the rest of the series, while fitting in a trip home to Ireland, working a full time job, and doing all the telly-watching said job involves. I’ve got 28 days to watch 57 episodes. I’ve got 28 days to watch, at a conservative estimate, 2,850 minutes of Doctor Who.
The Doctor Who experts in the office tell me it’s impossible. They don’t believe I’ll do it. But when you break it down, it works out at about 48 hours worth of television. That’s NOTHING to the experienced on-demand box set binger, right?
We don’t even need to take toilet breaks, do we?
Who needs sleep or food or human contact when you’ve got a Tardis and a Time Lord? I’m adopting a Sarah Stratagem to achieve this Impossible Plan. It’ll be a Long Game, and there’ll be no time to Blink, but all’s fair in Love & Monsters right?
And it’ll all be worth it come Journey’s End.
There’s no timey-wimey to waste so, as my dearly departed David ‘Ten’ Tennant might say…