Emmerdale zingers: Joe Tate’s most hilarious putdowns

Charity’s a “hard-faced skank,” and Debbie’s a “secretary in a cheap porno.” Ouch!

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Emmerdale has been rocked by the revelation that Tom Waterhouse is actually Joe Tate and has been secretly planning revenge on Charity Dingle who he blames for his dad Chris’s death.

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No sooner had Tom dropped the façade and announced his true identity and twisted agenda to a heartbroken Debbie and shell-shocked Charity, the charming businessman suddenly turned into an acid-tongued baddie, as he finally told the Dingles what he thought of them – and he didn’t hold back.

“Joe has spent his whole life planning this,” says Ned Porteous of his character’s cruel putdowns. And it showed, as he spouted venom so vicious we’re still reeling at Joe’s jaw-dropping jibes.

Tonight outrageous episodes were packed full of zingers as Joe took twisted delight in a tirade of near-the-knuckle pot shots at his enemies. Here’s a roundup of his best lines – no offence intended (unless your surname is Dingle).

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Joe on… Charity

The most poisonous putdowns were saved for his former stepmum, describing her as, “the whore that drove my dad to suicide and got away with it… until now.” When Charity admitted she didn’t recognise him, Joe hit back with: “I’d remember you anywhere, the same hard-faced skank you were back then.” As he explained his master plan of buying Debbie’s affections before leaving her penniless and on the streets, he told Charity he’d deliberately targeted her daughter, “so you could watch her turn into the same prostitute that you were.” Just for good measure, he also called Charity “a calculating bitch only after one thing.” Charming.

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Joe on… Debbie

“I was buying you Debbie…” hissed the deceitful businessman to the woman who thought she’d met her Prince Charming, “and it was so easy. No surprises there – like mother like daughter.” Devastated Deb then got put in her place about being on her boyfriend’s payroll: “Did you ever perform any real function other than lying across my desk like a secretary in a cheap porno? You’re no one. You’re collateral damage.” We’re guessing a glowing reference on her CV is too much to ask for?

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Joe on… the Dingles’

While Charity is the focus of his rage and Debbie the conduit to revenge, Joe also threw shade on the entire Dingle clan with a few caustic quips to the Tates’ old rivals. Remarking to Zak and Lisa how his late father branded them “workshy” and “downtrodden” respectively and that he pitied the whole family, the smooth-talking tycoon then announced: “I’m still going to flatten your house, which is still the rancid eyesore it was.” The best boarding school money can buy clearly didn’t teach the boy any manners.

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Joe on… Tom

Despite everything young Joseph managed to mock himself, or rather the version of himself he’d been posing as for the last few months. By of way of explanation as to who the polite, altruistic Tom Waterhouse really was, he smirked: “he was my alias, invented so no one would catch on. Good guy. Funds kids with cancer.” At least he’s kept his sense of humour about all this.

You can watch a 60-second rundown of next week’s episodes of Emmerdale below.

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