The Graham Norton Show… according to Jeremy Clarkson

Colin Farrell, Sharon Osbourne and Jo Brand are on Graham's red sofa, but what does Clarkson make of it all? Emma Daly imagines...


Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson is on tonight’s The Graham Norton Show with fellow guests X Factor judge Sharon Osbourne, actor Colin Farrell and comedienne Jo Brand. 


But why wait to hear what they actually say when it can be imagined, thanks to these handy pics…

Well then I usually say something humorous about the Stig like, “Some say he’s had more acts win the X Factor than Sharon Osbourne…”

Yeah, this is why we’re usually on an air field, far away from, well, everyone…

What’s it that Bear Grylls is always saying? Stay very still. It will leave you alone.

Oh look, it worked.

“More X Factor wins than Sharon…” Ha ha, I’ll have to remember that one.

The Graham Norton Show continues tonight at 10:35pm on BBC One