As the superhuman powerhouse that is Philip James Mitchell endures his third car crash in tonight’s EastEnders (BBC1, 7.30pm), we look back at the experiences of a guy who must now have more bionic body parts than the Six Million Dollar Man.
Being beaten Phil tries to apologise for sleeping with his brother’s wife but gets a pasting as a result. Honestly, he’s been thrown into that pit at the Arches so often he might as well have a sleeping bag down there.
Memorable line: “Love is me not slamming your face through that wall!” (Grant)
Crashing into the Thames The first Phil smash up sees the Mitchell brothers careering at high speed into the river after Grant confesses to sleeping with “Kaffee”. Check out Grant’s “braced for impact” face at 3m 33 seconds. Intense.
Memorable line: “You’ve ruined the last chance for me to be wiv my son…out of spite!!” (Phil)
Getting shot The soap’s greatest whodunit saw a mystery assailant (later revealed to be Lisa) plug Phil with a bullet. As Phil felt the pain, he tumbled down his front steps like a King Edward potato that had escaped from a bag of shopping.
Memorable line: “The next time I see ya, I’m gonna tan yer backsides!” (Phil)
Car crash number two A Beale-Mitchell bonding weekend goes badly wrong, proving that Phil and moving vehicles are never going to be the best of pals. The man’s insurance premiums must be sky high.
Memorable line: “First you burn the kit and then you threaten to beat me senseless…again!” (Ian)
Fire! Not even a blaze at the Vic can bring him down. See a crack-crazed Phil torch his mum’s beloved boozer in one of EastEnders’s most fondly remembered stunts. Let it burn!
Memorable line: “Phil, you bloody maniac! What are you doing!?” (Peggy)
Back in the pit After getting punched into the pit at the Arches once again, Phil manages to stumble to the Vic and use his last ounce of strength to point the finger at his attacker, Jack. Consider yourself owned, Branning.
Memorable line: “Have you been in a fight?” (Abi – stating the obvious)
Crutches When Phil sees red, nothing so debilitating as a leg injury is going to get in his way. See the big fella find an alternative use for his crutches after Ronnie angers him. OK, so it’s not a near-death experience, but look – he can walk perfectly!
Memorable line: “My daughter! My daughter! Eh? How could you do that? Who…who do you think you are!? (Phil)