So all your friends are getting married. You’re drowning in a sea of tulle, ‘L’ plates and confetti. You can’t remember the last time you took a photo outside of a booth or sat next to someone you actually liked at dinner. You have nightmares about being late to church and the thought of turning up in the same ASOS dress as another guest has as you in a cold sweat.
It’s an emotional and tiring time. But, luckily, we’ve been there and we’ve got the perfect viewing to help see you through the summer…
If you’re feeling left behind
Once upon a time Tracey’s priority was you and drinking as much Pinot Grigio as she could before closing. Now it’s table settings and his and hers egg cups. In fact, all your former drinking buddies are publicly declaring their love, settling down, owning gravy boats. And then there’s you. Little confused you, diligently attending all your BFF’s big days, laughing during the speeches, dabbing your eyes during the vows and dancing until your toes are numb but wishing you were at Weatherspoon’s reminiscing about uni instead.
You need something reliable, someone to lean on, a reminder of the good old days. You should watch:
Friends: Your real life, living and breathing chums might not currently be doing their job but you can always rely on Monica, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey. They’ll always be there for you. They couldn’t BE more there for you.
Gilmore Girls: Who needs anyone else when you’ve got these two. Introducing your new best friends: Rory and Lorelei Gilmore. They’ll be a funny, fuzzy, lovely constant for seven seasons and a Netflix reboot.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Living underground in an apocalypse cult didn’t break Kimmy Schmidt, so watching all your friends become husbands and wives won’t break you. And if Kimmy can adapt to life in 2016 New York, you can adapt to the new order of things too. We promise.
If you’re feeling impatient
Loved up, but he hasn’t put a ring on it? If you’re desperate to walk down the aisle but nowhere near doing it yourself, wedding season can be tough. In fact, they are all about catching that darned bouquet (let’s not lie, you’ve been doing lunges in preparation), keeping a believable smile on your mug and being super cas and breezy whenever the subject of your own relationship is bought up.
You need to watch:
The Good Wife: Because marriage isn’t the be all and end all. Romance might feel a little all consuming right now, but there’s ass-kicking career jazz and general awesomeness to be getting on with. Watch Alicia Florrick and learn.
How I Met Your Mother: Ted didn’t settle until season nine and well, then it turned out that (spoiler!) the story wasn’t even over then. Relax. #lifeisajourneynotadestination #enjoytheride #othercliches
If you’re feeling a bit nauseous
Love overload. Weddings are just day-long, overrated public displays of affection. All that gushing, all those tears, all those happily-ever-afters. Bleugh. If you never see a white dress again it’ll be too soon.
You need to reset yourself and shift off the nuptial blues. Introducing your perfect wedding antidote… You should watch:
Game of Thrones: Never before has one TV show been so down on weddings. The Red Wedding, The Purple Wedding… No one in Westeros gets teary-eyed over hand-written vows or starts their own wedding hashtag. They are more gory, bloody and fatal affairs. You’re welcome.
Gone Girl: Because sometimes everything ends in tears, and people end up faking their own deaths and framing their other halves for their murders.
If you’re just not feeling it
Weddings? Who’d have em, eh? Every single work-free weekend is booked up with a hen do, an excessively drunken stag or a wedding ceremony. But it’s okay, it’s not like you wanted to go on your own holiday this year anyway. Or like you could afford it now you’ve spent every penny you have on fascinators, phallic plastic straws and other people’s honeymoons.
It’s all well and good if your mates have found their Mr or Mrs Rights, you’re happy for them, but come on. Weddings aren’t all they are cracked up to be…
You should watch:
Bridesmaids: Revel in the disaster as it unfolds, one explosive upset stomach at a time.
Wedding Surprises Caught on Camera: Try as the best, most organised bride might, you can’t control every element of your special day. Sometimes, just sometimes, the entire bridal party fall into a lake.
If you’re actually feeling all mushy and warm inside
You honestly – cross your heart and hope to die – can’t think of anything you’d rather do than spend your Saturdays watching your friends say ‘I do’, you angel you. You’re feeling the love so you should ride that wedding wave and embrace all things romantic and emotional. When it comes to your rare downtime, it’s time to crack out some seriously soppy stuff.
You should watch:
Four Weddings and a Funeral, My Best Friend’s Wedding, The Runaway Bride, The Wedding Planner, The Proposal, The Wedding Date…
And any other movie with the words wedding, bride or marriage in the title.