The secret life of cats? Now that’s an expose and a half isn’t it…
BBC2’s Horizon has turned its back on earthquakes, organ transplants, epidemics and renewable energy all in the name of finding out what our pesky pets really get up to once they’ve crept out the cat-flap.
The Secret Life of the Cat (9:00pm) has attached cameras to a few lucky moggie’s collars to find out what the sneaky and secretive felines really do all day.
It’s the big one. Who knows what it might uncover. The happy equilibrium between pets and their owners could be about to be turned upside down. I mean, we’ve not actually seen BBC2’s programme yet, but we’re guessing this is the sort of scandalous behavior BBC2 is about to uncover…
What a nosey parker. Trying to work out why the cat food might have gone down in quality, eh? You can’t hide anything from them.
It’s not just receipts they get their teeth into. This rather rotund moggie has obviously had enough of sub-standard cat food and raided his owner’s wallet.
Either that or the ginger tom has found a way of making his own money. We are yet to prove the cat population don’t use American Dollars. Maybe tonight’s programme is set to reveal a sophisticated feline financial system…
Forget theiving from your wallet. Maybe your feline’s got herself a secret 9-5? With that steely expression, who knows how high up the ladder your fluffy friend has climbed. There could be a seriously powerful pet living under your roof.
Or perhaps you’ve got a highly-trained career cat? If Ratatouille can run a restaurant, why wouldn’t your pet be able to pilot a plane?
Ever wondered how so much cat hair gets between your sheets? Unemployment might be rife in the cat-world too. Perhaps your cat is between jobs and struggling to find motivation..
Or even worse, he’s wasting his days away at the end of a bottle… Poor kitty.
Wonder where your cat sneaks off to in the dead of night? Well you might not want to know… It’s a dangerous world for unmotivated moggies and this rag-tag bunch seem to have turned turned to gang warfare and a life of crime.
Let’s put their working lives aside. Our four-pawed friends need a to let their hair down too…
Maybe exercise their vocal chords. Do a spot of cat-erwauling. No wonder your neighbours complain about the noise coming from your house… It all makes sense now, right?
Ever come home from work ready to make your dinner but found the fridge bare? Well, it’s (probably) not your thieving housemate/greedy child’s fault…
Wonder why you’re always going over your phone contract? Here’s why. Cold, hard proof.
Going over your download limit, too? How about that strange search history or those unexplained Amazon purchases…. Mystery solved.
N.B. This article was in no way an excuse for us to trawl cute cat pictures while we were at work. It’s important that we make that clear…