Considering how perfectly diabolical 2016 has been so far, I’m pretty sure there’s a part of everyone watching I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! that thinks hiding out in the Australian jungle in a dark bunker with only a bevy of rats, cockroaches and spiders for company isn’t such a bad idea.
For one thing, at least the celebrities have President Larry Lamb keeping order in the camp, which, on the basis of Monday’s episode, beats President-elect Donald Trump any day.
We’ll get to Larry ‘He-Man’ Lamb later on – but first, there’s the small matter of a Bushtucker trial to deal with.
Scarlett Moffatt and co score first Bushtucker Trial success
As with all any long-running show, the brains behind the cameras have to pretend that this year will be BIGGER and SQUIRMIER than ever – even though we all know that it will be exactly the same as last year. Good things don’t need change.
Even so, when Ant and Dec introduced the first Bushtucker trial of the series, they couldn’t hide their excitement knowing that this challenge had “the most critters we’ve ever had in I’m a Celebrity history.”
“You can both stop smiling, you’re not making it better!” Jordan Banjo shot back at Dec. Ah, but they are Banjo. They are.
Scarlett Moffatt, having only just recovered from being rescued from drowning by Lord Lamb, was positively petrified by her first Bushtucker experience entering the ‘Tomb of Torment’, a glorified bunker in the middle of the jungle full of 120,000 creepy crawlie slinky slimy things
“I’ve got three pairs of pants on, so no insects are getting in… around there”, Scarlett said. What’s the Scouts’ motto again?
Scarlett might have Been Prepared, but when the time came to enter, she almost couldn’t go through with it. However, with fellow triallists Sam Quek, Ola Jordan and Jordan to gently coax her into the unknown, who need fear the Bushtucker blackness?
Jordan went first, followed by Ola, Scarlett and finally Sam. Joining hands, they struck up Spice Girls karaoke tunes to keep their minds off the task.
Did anyone ask for the whole thing to Stop Right Now? Did they heck.
It might not quite be a chicken kebab, but with 10 stars to bring back to the camp after surviving the full 10 minutes, all four celebs did themselves proud.
Larry Lamb, the leader we deserve
It’s only one day old, but this year’s I’m A Celeb campmates are a bit… different. There’s no other word for it. They’re just… ‘nice’.
“I feel like egos were cast aside,” said Joel Dommett as the campmates ordered themselves according to who they thought voters back home believed should be Camp President. And he’s right; they passed the test with flying colours.
What an absolutely lovely gang on #ImACeleb this year. Just what we needed.— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 14, 2016
This kind of camp cohesion comes from the top, and so it’s no surprise to see Larry Lamb running the show, with lovely Scarlett as his VP.
Even when they were dolling out camp tasks – a responsibility that usually ends in backbiting and dunny warfare – Larry was magnanimous.
“Everybody that knows they can do something trains someone else, so it becomes an educative process,” he told Jordan Banjo and Lisa Snowdon as he tasked them with cooking the camp meals.
In another quiet moment round the fire, Larry and ex-footballer Wayne Bridge had the kind of heart-to-heart that only real real men have – the kind that involves crying into your tattoo sleeves and missing being a stay-at-home Dad.
My goal is to marry someone who cares the way Wayne Bridge does about his kids, is as brave as Larry and as funny as Joel #ImACeleb
— Aimeeeeeeee (@Aimeeeee_B) November 14, 2016
Larry Lamb. Lord of the Jungle. Loved by the viewers. Legend.
I’m a Celeb meets Bake Off
No I’m A Celebrity on Tuesday night your poor things – that game that Wayne Bridge used to play is on the telly – but the show will be back for a bumper special on Wednesday night.
Now, even though she’s a lovable lass, Scarlett was way too entertaining not to feature in another Bushtucker trial, but joining her will be Carol ‘Toad Whisperer’ Vorderman, which could make things very interesting. If 120,000 creatures were used in the very first challenge, you don’t have to be a maths genius to work out that the next one is only going to get tougher.
So, what awaits them? Well, just in case Scarlett’s cries of CHICKEN KEBAB had you feeling peckish, the next Bushtucker trial is set to be a Great British Bake Off-themed challenge.
‘Scary Berry’ will be whipping up her very own jungle delights for the pair to taste. Not to sugarcoat it or anything, but we’re pretty sure Victoria sponge will not be on the menu…
I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 2016 celebrities