How (not) to resist temptation according to The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds

The Channel 4 series observes a group of boys trying (and failing) to stay away from a particularly chocolatey treat — and it's hilarious

We all remember telling ridiculous lies as children (or maybe even as adults) which seemed perfectly plausible in our tiny minds but were actually completely unbelievable. Like eating a whole packet of a sibling’s sweets and then denying it when caught, despite still chewing. Or pretending we haven’t put the tortoise in a box of Lego, when we clearly had. (Have I revealed too much?)


In this week’s Secret Life of Five Year Olds, there’s a brilliant scene where the boys are forbidden from eating a classmate’s chocolate cake, but they sort of do it anyway — and they lie about it in the most wonderful way. 

The youngsters hover over the cake and torture themselves by smelling it. But smelling soon leads to…

“I just took a lick, that’s all,” says Alfie to his slightly outraged yet impressed friends, suggesting they join in too. “Shall we lick the top?” Actually, they have no qualms, and soon they’re all sitting around devouring this cake while telling themselves it’s no big deal because they’re only licking it 

Then the teacher turns up. The explanations? “A bird came down and smudged it and then flew away,” is one. “Someone mysterious ate that bit…” is another entirely believable excuse. 


The Secret Life of Five-Year-Olds is on Thursday 19th November at 8pm on Channel 4