5 After Midnight with a Boogie Wonderland/September mash-up, exactly what their audience of tweens, twinks and tweeters demand. They’re mad for Earth, Wind & Fire. If anything, their harmonies have improved since last week’s impressive showing. Some genuine pop power developing here.
Tough song choice here: Enough is Enough is not only lesser known in Britain, but originally a duet between Barbra Streisand and Donna Summers. Aalto’s killing it though. I really want to hear her attack some techno at some point in the competition.
No, you didn’t mishear that, Sharon introduced Saara as “from London.” She’s encouraging the Finnish singer to adopt a British home town, pick up an accent, assimilate, eat chips, go to football, make an effort, you know?
Oh, there’s another Honey G story this week, but I’m not going to cover it because we’re the Radio Times and, mercifully, we get to take the high road sometimes. It’s why your granny still buys us every week.
Incidentally, dirt digging is the dark side of the X Factor’s tabloid story factory. That and some of the worst writing this side of fan-fiction.
2016 has been one long Stoppard play. With Trump, Brexit and the Chicago Cubs, it feels like the underdog simply can’t lose, that the laws of the universe have fundamentally broken.
“A weaker man might be moved to re-examine his faith, if in nothing else at least in the law of probability.”
By the logic of this topsy-turvy year, a Honey G win is almost a sure thing. And hey, look at the press release that landed in my inbox!
“Honey G is like the Donald Trump of the reality TV world,” said William Hill spokesman Joe Crilly. “After her first audition, she was 150/1 to win and when the live shows started, she was still as big as 100/1. Now, however, she is 11/2 and the third favourite.”
Three notes on tonight’s set list:
1. Disco is a genre that relies on long, long grooves, not two minute snippets. What’s next week, opera and throat singing?
2. Against all odds, Saara Aalto has not been stuck with Abba. She’s out of her Scandi-rut and is running free.
3. Ryan Lawrie is singing Play That Funky Music (White Boy). As a fellow Scottish white boy, I can confirm that we are very very pale, but funky? Not so much.
First things first: Four of Diamonds were eliminated on Sunday, so at least I’ll stop accidentally calling them Four After Midnight.
For the remaining contestants, it’s Disco Week. Here’s what they’re singing.
Saara Aalto: No More Tears (Enough is Enough) – Barbra Streisand/Donna Summers
You know the drill by now. I’m Jonathan Holmes (@hippopotaman), a former X Factor virgin who, six weeks into this blog, is starting to feel like the opposite of a virgin. You’re an X Factor viewer and together, we’re going to watch this light entertainment show and try not to think about the last week.