Former MP Edwina Currie is the latest celebrity to leave the camp, leaving only three in the competition.
The self-declared cougar, and former lover of John Major, had cut a swathe through the campmates since day one. Her arguments with ex-Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson were especially explosive.
Yet knocking back a glass of champagne with Ant & Dec afterwards, Currie insisted that her experience had been far better than she expected: “It was completely different. I thought it would horrible to be honest, but they were a terrific bunch of people. They truly were.”
That’s not to say her time was easy: “When I first entered the jungle, I had no idea how I was going to cope,” she explained. “Nothing compares to it apart from childbirth.”
Earlier in the episode, the departure of Tinchy and Kendra had the remaining celebrities eyeing up the throne (and not just because of that ‘silky chicken’ they had for dinner last night) but first there was the small matter of the Trial. They would all be clambering up a waterslide, and they would all be dressed up as superheroes (capes and pants) for some reason. “Your package looks well bigger than mine,” Jake told Foggy, with grudging respect. Note: this is pretty much all Batman and Superman talk about in the Justice League headquarters.
They all did very well, and it was back to camp to strip off and talk about Foggy’s penis a bit more.
“Look at your willy,” Mel observed, looking at Foggy’s prominently displayed willy as he hitched up his breeks between his buttocks.
“Fogs, that’s horrendous,” former MP Edwina Currie interjected about the willy. “Put it away.”
Later, Foggy outlined his plans for after the jungle. “I’ll still be here having failed to readjust to life outside,” he predicted. “You’ll find me running around here speaking a different language, I probably do anyway, spearing some deer to try and survive.”
[Italics ours. In Foggy’s mind, he might already know another language and not realise.]
Right, onto the jungle awards, nominated and bestowed by the celebrities themselves. These weren’t hugely surprising. Guess what? Jimmy cracks jokes, Edwina argues, Jake’s a flirt and Mel is a passionate chef (NO. I WILL COOK). Mel took it quite seriously, and was not a gracious loser in the Hardest Worker category. Looking at the full list, the biggest upset was surely Nadia winning Jungle Rear of the Year. Foggy was robbed, we tell ya.
All that was left was some reflection on their time (Jake liked the half-naked girls, Edwina liked the half-naked men) and a last supper of sausages. Next up: the final.
Who does Edwina tip for the crown? “They’re all great, and any of them of them would be a worthy winner,” she began diplomatically, as you would expect of a politician. “But my choice would be Jake. He’s a gent, he’s a star in the making, and he doesn’t even know it.”
Who do you think should be crowned King or Queen of the Jungle? Vote now!