Big Brother is back for series 13 (lucky for fans, unlucky for everyone else) with 16 new housemates for your delectation (and more to come).
We have the usual smattering of models, including a Miss India UK and a Miss Edinburgh, some kick-ass martial artists, a porn star and a former LA gang member, to name but a few. There’s even a celebrity connection (if you look hard enough) and a man with a very unusual party piece.
These, ladies and gentlemen, are your 2012 Big Brother housemates…
In a sentence: Gymnast turned karate world champion and criminology/sociology student who can’t handle her drink.
In a sentence: Model and Mixed Martial Arts fighter who’s in Big Brother for the “glory”, always takes his top off after a few drinks and falls in love “like a big girl”.
In a sentence: The student, model and former Miss Edinburgh is an outrageous flirt with a short temper, who loves Margaret Thatcher and scares men.
In a sentence: Miss India UK says money is the love of her life, is a purveyor of “blunt honesty” and thinks men are cheats and women are jealous of her looks.
In a sentence: The personal trainer and massage therapist from Northern Ireland is a clean freak whose party trick involves wrapping his “man bit” around his wrist.
In a sentence: The wannabe “celebrity historian” idolises 19th century Regency Rakes, is a member of shooting and countryside societies and suspects his family have “gathered” he is gay.
In a sentence: Professional dancer engaged to Andy Scott-Lee (brother of Steps star Lisa) who can’t walk away from confrontation, is allergic to alcohol and is in Big Brother to win it.
In a sentence: The plus-size model and former glamour star runs a dog rescue charity, will attempt to turn her housemates veggie and wants to win so she can set up a vegan handbag and shoe business.
In a sentence: The ex-Playboy Bunny and “professional arguer” is an assistant manager in a nail varnish outlet, can smoke a cigarette with her boobs and down ten tequila shots in 30 seconds.
In a sentence: The “silver-tongued” doorman/bailiff with a 50-inch chest is fascinated by conspiracy theories and the paranormal and says he’ll be “the biggest two-faced person” on the show.
In a sentence: The former boarding school girl describes herself as “weird, embarrassing and a bit of a loser,” says she “repels” boys, always thinks out loud and is “very irritable and really blunt.”
In a sentence: The “potty-mouthed” Essex girl is a fame-seeking retail supervisor and part-time barmaid who loves flirting with boys and wants to grow up to be an air hostess or a TV star.
In a sentence: Born in Burton-on-Trent but raised on the streets of LA, Adam became a member of the notorius Crips gang before getting clean and sober and working as a mentor for young people.
In a sentence: Born a girl in South Africa and raised in Wales, Chris began gender reassignment surgery four years ago, is now married, and dislikes “loud, opinionated people” and “chavs”.
In a sentence: Porn actor and former teacher who lives with his 18-year-old foster son, hates laddish people with “lots to prove but nothing to say” and thinks he has a good chance of winning.
In a sentence: The nightclub promoter from Stoke-on-Trent is a compulsive flirt, says “guys want to be me, girls want to be with me” and is a super-competitive bad loser.