Jaime Lannister is back - but will Bran and Daenerys forgive him? Will the White Walkers attack Winterfell? And will Jon try to claim the Iron Throne? Find out all this and more in our blow-by-blow Game of Thrones commentary...
Remember when we had to wait years for new Game of Thrones? Now we’re already back for ANOTHER live blog of season eight’s second episode, starting our commentary at midnight BST as we warm up to the good stuff from 2am on Sky Atlantic and NOWTV.
Follow every step of our blow-by-blow coverage below as we watch along with the world, and who knows? Maybe Jon will take this “hooking up with his aunt thing” in stride.
03.45am ANYway on that bombshell, I think that’s time for me to call time on this particular live blog and prepare for a literal and fictional Long Night next week.
As ever this has been super fun – it always helps when it’s a good episode – and thanks for joining me on this walk through Westeros. Now, I’m headed to bed with some of Tormund’s delicious fermented milk.
Next time, things will be darker (apparently literally) – and with Thrones episode three and Avengers: Endgame coming out the same weekend, expect the possibility of a few dead Starks by this time next Sunday.
Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let the White Walkers bite.
03.36am: Oh my God the drinking sesh was just the Breakfast Club wasn’t it.
Dear Night King, … You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a Kingslayer, a Giantsbane, a Hand of the King, A Knight, An Onion Smuggler, and a Squire.
03.26am: In case you weren’t aware, this year HBO haven’t been releasing any episode titles before Thrones airs, which is unusual. We do now know this week’s though – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, in homage to Brienne’s knighting scene. Very nice, and would have been hard to predict!
03.16am: Very much this tweet for me – I’m not sure why but somehow it just all worked better for me this time, partly because people weren’t just growling one-liners at each other or recapping plot. Loved it.
People are calling out tonight’s episode of #GameOfThrones for fanservice and sure, yes. But also what it had in spades, that’s been missing for seasons? Conversation, and storytelling.
03.13am: The trailer has arrived for next week’s climactic battle episode, and things are looking pretty dark.
I mean, like, literally. The lighting in this…is so dim. Who is talking. What is happening. Did we win? Wait, what dead? Which dragon is that? The brightness on this laptop can’t go any higher!!!!
(Basically…battle stuff, next week. And Daenerys doesn’t look very happy with Jon. Telling someone you’re sleeping with that you’re their nephew and might have ruined their life’s work by your very existence will do that).
03.11am: Also, that little montage of Pod’s singing while we checked in with all the characters on the eve of battle was actually quite beautiful, and made me awfully sad that some of these (more-or-less) good characters could be meeting their maker in the next episode.
So well done Game of Thrones, you made me care again. But don’t kill Davos you bastard!
03.09am: So, conclusions!
I actually really enjoyed that episode a lot more than the premiere. Much as it was just more preamble, reunions and so on, it somehow felt a lot more authentic than last week, and I bought into the emotion a lot more.
Not sure about the Gendry + Arya stuff – much as HBO are keen to remind us she’s an adult now, the age difference between the actors when they first started on the show makes it feel a bit iffy – but I did really enjoy all the scenes of the Brotherhood Without Bedtimes chatting (and singing) in the great hall, and the cliffhanger ending.
Plus – Ghost is back! Considering how much I complained about it this week, I have to give them that.
3.06am: Fun fact – a few hours ago, HBO kindly reminded us that Arya was 18. Wonder why they felt the need to clarify that?
By age 18 in Westeros you should have:
– Had a pet. – Moved out on your own. – Travelled extensively. – Had a kill list. – Pretended to be the opposite sex to evade capture. – Been blind for a while. – Ticked at least three people off of your kill list.
03.05am: And that’s the episode! We now go to a lovely acoustic version of Jenny’s song, not to be confused with the one by these fellas.
03.04am: Daenerys is the first person to actually question Jon’s real parentage, which is legit! But before Jon and Dany can talk about his claim he’s saved by the bell – because the White Walkers are here.
Or at least some of them, on dinky little horses. Haven’t they heard dragons are all the rage now?
03.02am: Daenerys finally catches Jon down in the crypts – and he tells her the truth.
Time to call in Maury!
The results are in….and Jon Snow is your nephew!
“My name…my real name…is Aegon Targaryen.”
02.59am: Pod whips out a beautiful little song, and this is a funny one – as far as I can tell, the song he’s crooning here is of potentially huge importance to the entire Song of Ice and Fire book series, but fans haven’t ever heard or seen the lyrics before.
Here they are now:
This is a song of the kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts.
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most.
The ones who’d been gone for so very long
She couldn’t remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stone
Spun away all her sorrow and pain
And she never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave
This plays over a slightly haunting montage of battle prep, and now I think EVERYONE dies.
Called Jenny’s song, the tune has been referenced quite a few times in the books and (without getting into too much detail) many think it could be tied into the whole Prince that was Promised/Azor Ahai prophecy doo-dad, aka that thing where either Dany or Jon are Luke Skywalker.
If true, Jenny’s Song could be the Song of Ice and Fire that George RR Martin’s whole series is named after. How fitting that, er, Pod, should bring it into the light for the first time. The Pod That Was Promised?
Anyway, look around online and you’ll see some more in-depth analyses from better ASOIAF scholars then me. My learned analysis? iTs pREttY kEWl!!
02.57am: Nice of Jaime to do that so far ahead of the battle. We all needed an…
Fun to see Jorah and Lyanna Mormont interact. Now, after Jorah gave Jon his sword, Sam gives Jorah his. TBF a Valyrian steel greatword is slightly wasted on Sam but wouldn’t someone like the Hound be a better fit? it’s a big ol’ sword and he might not be used to it.
02.55am: “Kneel.” Is this a Fleabag crossover?
No just kidding, it’s just the culmination of Brienne’s character arc after six seasons, wahey!
…oh she’s definitely going to die isn’t she? This scene is too sweet otherwise.
“Arise Brienne of Tarth…a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”
02.54am: Did all these people fight the Starks? Brienne didn’t really, or Davos…
“I’m no King, but if I were…I’d knight you 10 times over.” Smooth line, but Jaime had to one-up you Tormund.
02.52am: Arya ready….
Yes she is, OH yes…
(this is a bit weird, isn’t it? She was a child when this show started! I’m against change!)
02.51am: Arya is giving Gendry a vigorous sexual health questionnaire. Very sensible. But a bit creepy.
02.50am: Gendry finally gives Arya that spear…thing to expand her…
“This’ll work,” she says. Are there ANY other Smiths? Is Gendry just doing all the work?
02.48am: We’re back, and Arya’s having another go at that reunion with the Hound.
“When was the last time you fought for anyone but yourself?”
“I fought for you didn’t I?”
Then Beric swoops in the kill the vibe.
02.46am: Underrated comedy moment – Sam equating a library fine with killing an immortal ice zombie.
02.43am: Jaime’s reaction to everything Tormund says and does is great. I’m now dubbing this little group the Brotherhood Without Bedtimes, and I feel a kinship with them as I too am staying up talking nonsense ahead of a big Game of Thrones battle.
Now -ad break! Great episode so far. The character interactions just feel more authentic and earned to me. Does remind how much I miss certain parts of the storyline (Night’s Watch stuff, mainly) though.
02.41am: Now all our favourite characters are joining together for a slumber party! Davos joins Tyrion and Jaime, Tormund, Brienne and Pod, and Tormund starts off the night with a GENUINELY INSANE story about giants that just made me laugh so much.
02.38am: “And now our watch begins” – love this little Night’s Watch reunion between Edd, Jon and “lover of ladies” Sam Tarly. I miss the Wall storylines, and Grenn and Pyp. They’re even playing the NW theme.
But forget all that because GHOST is there! Ghost! He’s back! I mean admittedly he’s just standing there doing f all behind Jon and no-one acknowledges him in any way, almost like we beat this out of the VFX team by complaining for so long but he’s back! Looks like HBO activated…
Meanwhile, Jaime and Tyrion remember how weird their blonde wigs were in the pilot.
02.36am: Lot of reminders that the women and children will be hiding in the crypts this week, which makes me feel like they might be significant during next week’s battle.
So far, though, the references are pretty…
Oh, Missandei and Grey Worm are going to become THE KING IN DA NAATH after the war which is nice.
02.33am: The Three-Eyed Raven has a lot of info for them tonight. I guess you could call that some good…
Anyway, Theon and some Ironborn will protect Bran while he acts as bait, which is nice. Some season two vibes, even though Bran Does Not Care.
The dragons are a failsafe to try and BBQ the Night King.
“We’re all going to die…but at least we die together,” Tormund says.
02.31am: Tormund and the Night’s Watch bros have a joyous reunion with Jon, while Beric just shakes his hand because they just never really clicked on a personal level.
Anyway, they’re now coming first thing in the morning (on a bank holiday! how rude!) so it’s time for some battle planning.
02.30am: A tiny little girl with a slight facial disfigurement is talking to Davos, and if you’re getting major Shireen flashbacks that’s because the score is playing a bit of a refrain from the song she used to sing in the background.
Here are the lyrics if you want them:
It’s always summer, under the sea
I know, I know, oh, oh, oh
The birds have scales, and the fish take wing
I know, I know, oh, oh, oh
The rain is dry, and the snow falls up
I know, I know, oh, oh, oh
The stones crack open, the water burns
The shadows come to dance, my love
The shadows come to play
The shadows come to dance, my love
The shadows come to stay
Man, if anything happens to that little girl it’ll be…
02.29am: Theon has turned up to make my socks relevant and also defend Winterfell. Everyone is over the murdered farm boys thing.
Davos, meanwhile, is giving little pep talks while he serves soup. Gilly is also there.
02.28am: Controversial opinion – the north is rubbish, cold and muddy and hardly anyone lives there. Just let them have it! Who cares? Their main export is angst! Dorne has water parks! Go there!
02.27am: Man, they really do give Jon a lot of grief about his height. Leave him alone!
02.25am: Daenerys and Sansa are finally getting along! But it does always feel a bit like Dany is networking, or giving you an annual appraisal at work.
“Men do stupid things for women. They’re easily manipulated.” Where has Sansa seen this, exactly? Littlefinger and Lysa’s dynamic was kind of the opposite.
02.23am: Was Jorah even in the running to be Daenerys’ Hand? No offence! I just thought he was a Queensguard sorta dude. Missandei, maybe, but Jorah? She always ignored his advice anyway, and he was spying on her all the time.
And why is Bronze Yohn Royce like, the main lord? He’s not even from the North, and his armour looks ridiculous.
02.22am: Big fan of Podrick becoming good at fighting between series also. He will now Definitely Die.
02.20am: Here’s my biggest question so far this week – what is the point of those dragonglass spikes on the battlements? Are they hoping the wights will cut themselves if they only try to climb those particular sticky-up bits on the walls? Or that some of them will be thrown and sort of, land on them?
Or are they spare random dragonglass heads for defenders to just sort of lob at the Army of the Dead when all the other weapons are gone?
Clearly, some bit of design has gone awry here – either that or Jon brought back WAY more dragonglass than they needed, so everyone’s just started bedazzling their workstations with it.
02.17am: More Brienne/Jaime banter. Don’t destroy Tormund’s hopes like this!
Jaime: “I’m not the fighter I used to be. But I’d be honoured to serve under your command if you’ll have me.”
Sweet. One of them will die. And now an advert break!
02.15am: Tyrion’s quote about his dream death: “In my own bed, at the age of 80 with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock,” – comes from season one, fact fans, when Shagga son of Dolf asked him how he wanted to die.
Based on Jaime repeating it, it’s a favourite of his.
See, Bran, we can all use google to look up quotes when we want to. You’re not special.
02.13am: Bran’s long-term view of Jaime pushing him out of a window is big of him but…did pushing Bran out of the window really help Jaime turn nicer? I mean, I guess he wouldn’t have lost his hand if there wasn’t a war with the Northmen…
Haha, big love to the Northerners spitting on Jaime and Tyrion, the Lannister lads. (Laddisters?) Sorry, this episode is jumping around a lot.
02.10am: Sad to see so much of Winterfell being turned into a big forge. Once it was so many nice independent stalls, bit of housing…just one more sign of the ongoing…
Also, Arya is educating Gendry that she’s now a mad assassin type, and he needs to read the wikis since he left the show in season three. He’ll get RIGHT on that weapon for her.
02.08am: Gee, Jon sure is acting cold towards Daenerys today.
I guess you could call that a real…
(Mixed response to this one from the people I tried it on but I love it!)
Also, Daenerys is pissed at Tyrion for being consistently terrible at his job for the past two seasons (and arguably in season six) which, fair, but would Jorah really be a good replacement? He couldn’t even organise his way out of that horrible yellow shirt for several years.
02.07am: The Brienne/Jaime shippers have a lot to work with this week.
02.05am: Nice that Sansa and Daenerys are agreeing on something, even if it is raking over some season one episode five-ass nonsense. Who among us hasn’t tried to kill the other’s family at some point.
Also: lol at Bran firing up wikiquote like he did with Littlefinger last year.
02.04am: Daenerys giving Jaime a grilling about killing her dad. Jaime, give her your big speech about how you saved all of King’s Landing! Or point out that she killed someone’s dad last series!
02.02am: Back to those new credits!
Fun fact – look closely and you can see the “history” segments on the astrolabe (with the animal drawings) have been updated to represent more notable parts of the series including the Red Wedding (did you spot the flayed man handing over a wolf head to a lion?)
01.58am: Just a few minutes now! My bets for this week – an episode rather like the first half of season two’s “Blackwater,” all about battle buildup, tensions etc before the actual clash next week.
These days, Thrones is big enough that the warm-up can be an actual episode. 2012 can’t even.
01.51am: Rewatching last week’s episode on Sky Atlantic in the run up and: super fun how Sam starts a succession crisis for no reason in the middle of a zombie apocalypse! Time and a place.
Still do like this scene though.
01.47am: Fun thing I’ve just seen someone note on Twitter – considering episode three is the big battle episode, anyone with extended screentime tonight is PROBABLY going to die, especially minor characters.
I’ll be keeping an eye on that as the episode goes on but basically, if Davos gives a long speech about how much he loved Shireen we’re in trouble friends. I might have to abdicate from the Iron Blog in protest.
(How have I never called this the Iron Blog before? Amazing).
01.44am: Sloughing off this blog’s usual air of slight irony to say, it is genuinely nice to hear from readers! Please do tweet @RadioTimes or find us on Facebook and I’ll try my best to include you here in some way.
01.37am: This is fun – new video where Tyrion and Cersei finally get the mediator they need to work out their differences in the form of Elmo.
Yes, it’s another neat PG-rated Sesame Street Thrones parody.
Given this is Westeros, we’re lucky it’s not a Castrate-Me-Elmo.
01.33am: Look guys, I will get back to the proper Game of Thrones capes, swords etc in weeks to come I swear – I just didn’t have room in hand luggage for a massive fur cloak and customs frown on Valyrian steel exports.
Next week, I promise! I know you only all read this for the candids of me in Party City bargain bin couture really.
01.30am: I really hope Theon and/or Yara have some fun things to do this week because…
I’m on my second of six pairs of Thrones-themed socks, and this week I’m going Greyjoy!
This will only get harder when I have to start finding ways to include the ones with the Martells and Tyrells on them, but I’ll try my best!
Side note: how great would it be to see Sean Bean back as Ned Stark this year, maybe in a Bran flashback? It would tie things back to the beginning so well, and given that SB has been doing a bit of press for the series recently it seems like he’d be up for it.
I’m holding out hope anyway.
01.18am: Surprising rival to my recap crown – US Presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren, who alongside developing her policy initiatives has apparently started doing Thrones reviews.
Still, we’ll see if she’s still here recapping episode four, or whether she drops off like a filthy casual.
01.13am: Also, happy Easter! I was going to make some joke about the blog “rising again” today but then remembered I didn’t want to burn in Hell for blasphemy, so I didn’t.
Still, tonight’s live blog snacks do feel appropriately dragon-themed…
(feat: my actual big red face.)
01.08am: Regular readers may remember that last week I complained the immersive Game of Thrones experience had extended to my freezing flat – and I’m happy to confirm that this theme has only continued here in Dublin!
This week, following Dany’s terrible confession to Sam I too have been burned alive, though in my case it was the chilly Irish sun rather than a big ol’ dragon that got me all toasted. Still, it’s definitely got me in the mood for tonight.
01.03am: OK guys, look – I’m finally going to address the elephant in the room.
Oh, no, sorry Cersei – I meant metaphorically. Still no elephants.
No, what I really want to acknowledge here is something that many Thrones fans on Twitter will know already – earlier today, this week’s episode leaked a few hours early after it was apparently uploaded online early somewhere.
If you’re here, then I must presume you’re not a CRIMINAL who watched it online. If you did, well, I’d give you the chance to take the black but I doubt the Night’s Watch are looking for staff at the moment.
The rest of us can probably manage the 57 minutes or so of waiting…right?
Yes, we can. Come on guys.
00.56am: Just over an hour to go and people are getting antsy.
To be fair I am very pro completely senseless deaths without character resolution, because it’s sort of hilariously bleak, so I actually would like this to happen.
00.48am: Fun fact, longtime readers – this week, for the first time ever I’m not doing this live blog from my flat in London!
Three series and three years I never moved from that sofa but this time Easter has dragged me across the narrow sea to Ireland, (sort of) the home of Thrones itself. Emphasis on the sort of because I’m in the Republic of Ireland, not Northern Ireland where the series is actually filmed but hey – close enough.
So far, the experience is SIMILAR. Lucky, because I think I need to be back here again for another episode. Big teaser there.
00.38am: Anyway, after a bit of a mix of comedy and horror last week, here’s hoping this episode is a bit more balanced.
He would probably eat every effing chicken in this room, but we won’t let him because of the bones.
00.29am: Oh, and also HBO and Sky Atlantic decided to haunt our dreams forever by killing off the cute lil Ned Umber, shish kebab-ing him to the wall in a whirl of limbs then re-animated him as a shrieking, horrible corpse. Yay?
(Love the memes).
00.25am: Still, that was really all just preamble for the main event – Sam learning that Daenerys had blasted his dad and brother into smithereens, and taking that as motivation to tell Jon that he was the true heir to a great Kingdom.
No, wait, sorry, wrong royal reveal. He’s Aegon Targaryen, King of Westeros etc.
Just when he thought he was out, they pull him back in!
00.20am: Here’s a thought – in this slightly dead 2-hour period when you’re probably all napping and Thrones isn’t on TV yet, I should probably ALSO talk about what happened in last week’s episode!
In short, it was a great big reunion special, with all sorts of characters (Arya/Jon! Arya/Gendry! Arya/The Hound! Sansa/Tyrion! Jon/Sam! Probably a few others!) meeting for the first time in years to varying levels of success.
There was also a bit where Jon and Daenerys rode a couple of dragons instead of helping with the war effort, Cersei got annoyed about her lack of elephants and slept with Euron, Theon rescued Yara EXTREMELY EASILY and Tyrion sort of moped around making jokes about his testicles.
00.10am: Well, based on the new episode trailer released last week Daenerys isn’t TOO happy to have the Kingslayer under the same roof (I mean, let’s not start a “punishing anyone who killed another character’s evil Dad” witch hunt, Daenerys, you might not like the results) while Jon is more worried about the army of zombies on the march (fair).
Bran, meanwhile, is probably just still staring at everyone like a creep. It’s his thing.
00.01am: Time to leap on your dragon, fire up your child-burning sword and practice your creepy, vacant Bran-stare because Game of Thrones is back for another episode, and so is the RadioTimes.com live blog (I know! Who’d have thought?)
My name’s Huw and as usual I’ll be chatting all things Thrones starting midnight BST until the episode starts at 2am, when the focus will become a keen, white-hot needle of recap and analysis (and bits where I just write omg no wayyyyy) before descending into bad memes and tweets again once the episode has concluded.
Last week we saw a King and Queen come to Winterfell, Jaime Lannister pop round to lend a hand and learned that Burnt Umber isn’t just a fetching shade on the Dulux colour chart – but what can we expect on this trip to Westeros?