Let’s Sing and Dance for Comic Relief: The 7 weirdest celebrity performances ever

Let's *not* dance for Comic Relief, yeah?

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Down the years on Let’s Dance for Comic Relief, all bets have been off in the name of charity.

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Hairy men in tiny leotards, baffling celebrity pairings and downright bonkers song choices. They were meant to raise money for a good cause, but have instead sometimes just left us rather creeped out, scared, confused – or all three.

Ahead of the Let’s Sing and Dance for Comic Relief final this weekend, here are 7 of the weirdest celebrity performances of all time.

1. Christopher Biggins and Nicki Chapman – You’re the One that I Want

Who wanted this? We certainly didn’t. Fair play to Nicki for getting into those skintight black trousers, but watching Biggins skulk about and leer after her (watch out for it at one minute, twenty seconds. We think it was all part of the act…) was more awkward than amusing.

2. Cheryl Fergison – Ice Ice Baby

Cheryl looked like she was enjoying this a bit too much. There was an attempt at the worm, some twerking and a lot of flailing about. The choreographers had taken the title of this song a little bit literally and shoehorned in a segment at the end involving ice cream. Which prompted Cheryl to pretend to lick one of the dancers. His face said it all.

3. Snooker vs Darts – Walk This Way

Dennis Taylor and Willie Thorne (snooker) took on Bobby ‘Dazzler’ George and Tony O’Shea (darts) in this authentic reimagining of the Run DMC / Aerosmith hit (or Girls Aloud vs Sugababes if that’s more your style). The foursome had young women twerking all over them and looked like drunken uncles who’d cleared the dancefloor at a wedding. Dennis tripping over Willie and then knocking Bobby over at the end summed it up.

4. Lulu – Crank That

We’d love to have been in the meeting when this was idea pitched to Lulu. The music legend, emblazoned with a silver ‘L’ around her neck, wore a hoody and jeans that looked like they’d been made using Richard Osman’s measurements. She pulled off the dance routine for sure, but after watching it we were left thinking ‘WTF was that?’

5. Terry Alderton – Proud Mary

We still can’t decide whether this is awful or genius. Comedian Terry Alderton left nothing to the imagination in this indecently short red dress as he impersonated Tina Turner. We were worried something was going to pop out live on TV. We assure you that after watching Terry in action, his moves will be seared on your brain for days to come…

6. Miles Jupp – Firestarter

This was probably the most un-Miles Jupp thing ever to happen. The thoroughly prim and respectable host of Radio 4’s The News Quiz embodied Keith Flint (essentially a cross between The Joker and Marilyn Manson) for this interpretation of Firestarter. Nothing about the dancing was particularly menacing, but we still haven’t been able to get our heads around the fact that lovely Miles is under there. Somewhere.

7. Destiny’s Dad – Bootylicious

What do comedians Hal Cruttenden, Shaun Keaveny and Mark Dolan all have in common? Yep, that’s right – absolutely nothing. But that didn’t stop them being put together for ‘Destiny’s Dad’. Absolutely no part of this made sense. When they emerged in their Big Bird yellow getups, we thought it was bad enough. And then, horror of horrors, they whipped them off to reveal frilly pink bikinis. The end result was less Bootylicious and more Bloodyhorrendous.

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Let’s Sing and Dance for Comic Relief airs at 7.55pm on Saturday March 25 on BBC1.