Let’s be honest: magic is great and everything, but if Hogwarts didn’t have WiFi, we probably wouldn’t be so interested.
A Tumblr account called The Setup Wizard took this premise and ran with it. The blog is the fictionalised account of an American muggle named Jonathan Dart working as Hogwarts’ first IT guy. The somewhat grumpy character is constantly solving problems and handling the struggles of being a Muggle in a magic world.
“It took them until 2016, but both students and staff alike have finally caved and demanded that their cell phones work on school grounds, and with that request they had to find a “muggle” (a term I’m quickly learning to detest) to install wifi and maintain any technology that functions on school grounds.”
The posts make light of just about everything Harry Potter-related. The blogger tries to convince the Headmaster that moving staircases don’t make much sense; he struggles with trying to find a good cup of coffee in Hogsmeade; and he even gives Slytherin House access to Spotify so that they can “stream all the emo music their little hearts could ever desire.”
Poor Jonathan sounds like he has an uphill battle ahead of him – he really should have talked to Arthur Weasley before accepting the job.
“Apparently it’s pretty well established that muggle tech and magic don’t seem to work too well together,” he writes. “This very quickly drew disappointment from the Headmaster, who admitted with an air of defeat that he had neglected to write down or even attempted to remember his login password because he assumed he could use Alohomora to unlock his laptop.
“It took some pressuring from me for him to not set the password as Alohomora, simply because half the school is already using it as theirs.”
Wonder if Dumbledore’s started following JK Rowling on Twitter yet?