The Beast in Me review: An embarrassing blunder for 'Peak TV' icons

If you needed any more evidence that the golden age of television is well and truly over, look only to how its mighty have fallen.

The Beast in Me unites three actors whose work represents major pillars of the 'Peak TV' era – Claire Danes (Homeland), Matthew Rhys (The Americans) and Jonathan Banks (Breaking Bad) – but renders them all somewhat laughable.

You might remember that Saturday Night Live (back when that was worth watching, too) staged a savage viral parody of Danes's Homeland performance back in 2013, enlisting Anne Hathaway to play CIA agent Carrie Mathison at her most hysterical.

It's hard not to be reminded of that during The Beast in Me, which sees Danes constantly amped up to 11, while co-stars Rhys and Banks chew the scenery until there's nothing left but a damp pile of mulch.

The story begins when real estate tycoon Niles Jarvis (Rhys) moves into the wealthy neighbourhood of author Aggie Wiggs (Danes), who is struggling to crack the follow-up to her celebrated best-selling debut.

It isn't long before Niles becomes a subject of interest, as the super-rich, hyper-aggressive businessman is plagued by unproven accusations that he murdered his missing ex-wife. Is there more to the story than meets the eye?

Aggie herself is wracked with guilt over the death of her young son in a car accident that occurred while she was driving, causing her marriage to disintegrate and her world to become much, much smaller.

That profound, agonising grief (plus intimidation from this enigmatic new neighbour) is the catalyst for an extreme turn from Danes, in which almost every line of dialogue is shakily blurted out in a state of mild to moderate panic.

Though you wouldn't know it from this review, I am actually quite a fan of Danes's work – from Homeland to 2022's highly underrated Fleishman is in Trouble – but even admirers will be quickly desensitised to her intense emoting here.

Equally, The Americans is one of my favourite shows of all time, so I am keenly aware of how masterfully menacing Rhys can be in a quality role; alas, Niles Jarvis more closely resembles a second-rate Bond villain or Succession reject (whichever is worse).

Rhys does elevate a script full of clunkers, but Niles is just as cartoonishly heightened as Aggie; whether he's a murderer or not, he won't be on your Christmas card list after you watch him devour an entire chicken in 60 seconds flat (yes, a real scene).

Admittedly, the two leads are such a bizarre pairing that they do keep The Beast in Me watchable in spite of how utterly preposterous it is, so there's a compliment in there somewhere for those willing to go digging.

Banks takes a supporting role as Niles's father, Martin, who has a contentious relationship with the heir to his empire, which is why he's continued to produce new Jarvis children – and makes them physically fight, to remind us he's mean.

Although his career pre-dates Breaking Bad, Banks is now best known as Mike Ehrmantraut and, much like co-star Giancarlo Esposito, seems doomed to riff on his character from that show for the rest of his career. Well, at least it's a steady pay cheque.

There's more strangeness from David Lyons as unravelling FBI agent Brian Abbot (perhaps his silliest role since The Cape), but Brittany Snow (The Night Agent), Natalie Morales (Grey's Anatomy) and Hettienne Park (Hannibal) escape relatively unscathed.

Ultimately, The Beast in Me is a far cry from the most painful shows I've had to watch in this job; the episodes (mostly) come in under 50 minutes, the characters are larger-than-life, and the plot is so silly that you feel anything could happen.

It's the kind of daft assembly line thriller that you'd normally expect to see fired out of Netflix's Harlan Coben machine, or perhaps aired across three consecutive nights on 5; but the money and star-power behind this one does give it a certain charm.

So while it's tough to recommend The Beast in Me, I also can't deny that it was entertaining – just for all the wrong reasons. And that might be enough to draw a crowd on Netflix, where popularity and excellence are rarely in alignment.

The Beast in Me is available to stream on Netflix. Sign up for Netflix from £5.99 a month. Netflix is also available on Sky Glass and Virgin Media Stream.

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