14 things everyone who hasn’t seen Game of Thrones thinks about Game of Thrones

Why does every character's name have a "y" in it? And is winter ever, EVER coming?!

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It’s a hard month for us non-Throners. As the return of Westeros looms large, we look ahead to weeks and weeks of feeling left out of the telly conversation. Because unless you’ve dedicated hour-upon-hour of time to George R.R. Martin’s fastidious fantasy, you’re not going to have the faintest idea about Dothraki, King’s Landing or The Night’s Watch (I feel your pain. I just had to look those up in a glossary). 

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Predictably conversation at RadioTimes.com HQ has turned to Starks and Lannisters over the last couple of days – what with the star-studded season five premiere taking place in London last night – but I can’t play along. In fact, I’m left baffled by this mind-boggling world where dragons are pets and weddings are always multi-coloured. 

Am I the only one to feel this way? Surely not. Here are 14 things those of us who haven’t seen Game of Thrones think about Game of Thrones… 

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For those of you who do watch Game of Thrones, series five begins on 13th April at 9pm on Sky Atlantic