“I wish I were dead”: not a sentence we’re used to hearing from Great British Bake Off contestants – even at the end of a particularly daunting technical. But comedian James Acaster is not like any amateur baker to serve up a treat for judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith. He’s much much worse.
In fact, the stand-up may have produced one of the most misguided bakes we’ve ever seen– worse than Iain’s Baked Alaska bin-gate disaster – during C4’s recent celebrity special of the competition for Stand Up to Cancer.
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During the signature bake challenge, Acaster and his competitors – Rylan Clark-Neal, Russell Tovey and Michelle Keegan – were tasked with preparing topped flapjacks. Not, as Acaster made, a mix between an oaty puddle and moderate health hazard.
"I started making it. Had a breakdown. Bon appétit!" he said to the judges after his pudding was prepared.
"I've never baked before. Let alone competitively," he said earlier. "This is the worst idea in the world!"
However, although the final product more closely resembled an almond stew than his planned Cherry Bakewell-inspired flapjack, viewers loved his attempt regardless.
And after he then baked a deconstructed cream horn (ie salty scrambled egg) and, shall we say, a very abstract meringue version of Kettering's premiere adventure park, viewers absolutely wanted Acaster’s skills to be put to the test once more.
But he wasn’t the only contestant to crumble in the tent. Big Brother and X Factor star Rylan served up what can only be described as – sorry in advance – a giant turd cake.
"Oh, it does look like a poo!" said the presenter as he finished off his meringue showstopper meant to resemble an Ibiza beach.
Fortunately, the judges weren't too put off by the cake's appearance, finding the poo mountain "delicious" and one of the best bakes of the round. Although, we feel compelled to point out that Rylan was up against a contestant who produced this earlier in the episode...
At least you tried, James. At least you tried.