My daughter Caroline Flack died without a voice - and this is my biggest regret about her difficult final days

This article first appeared in Radio Times magazine.

We found a handwritten note from Caroline the other day. Caroline’s twin sister, Jody, discovered it while packing up boxes of her things. Caroline loved leaving me notes, but this one was written for herself and was a list of all the things she loved, everything that made her happy.

She’d included her job – hosting Love Island, the ITV dating show that she’d made her own – her close family and the beautiful London home that she had worked so hard to buy.

Caroline had made a brilliant life for herself and most of the time she was happy. She loved musicals – we’d seen Hamilton and Waitress. She laughed a lot, loved dancing and was always singing in the car. Five years on from her death, these are the moments I try to remember.

But Caroline was also vulnerable and suffered highs and lows, even while growing up. She was in hospital in her late teens after a relationship ended and feared talking openly about her mental health. I did my best to protect her as a child. Now I must protect her in a different way.

Caroline died, aged 40, without a voice and with the world believing that she was a domestic abuser. I want the real Caroline to be remembered – not the Caroline that was portrayed in the press in the weeks before her death. Which is why I have made Caroline Flack: Search for the Truth, a two-part documentary for Disney+.

It’s my biggest regret that I wasn’t shouting about the injustice before Caroline took her own life on Valentine’s Day in 2020, while facing prosecution for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend, Lewis Burton. Now I have nothing to lose. The worst thing in the world has already happened. I need to get the truth out there.

I’m not here to defend domestic violence. Caroline hit Lewis with a mobile phone after becoming concerned he was cheating. But the facts are that the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) recommended Caroline receive a caution. She had no previous convictions, Lewis did not support the prosecution, and it was not deemed to be in the public interest.

A senior Metropolitan Police figure appealed against that decision and Caroline was then charged with assault by beating. Caroline discovered she would be prosecuted the day before she died.

When I have thought about how Caroline died and how awful she must have felt on that day, I’ve not been able to stop asking questions. Why did the police lock her in a cell for 24 hours after she was hospitalised for self-harming? Why did the CPS charge her amid a media frenzy? And how could the tabloids print such intrusive information?

In 2023, the Met apologised for not keeping a written record of why they charged Caroline. But I couldn’t get more answers. That’s why I wanted to make this film. Having cameras with me, I hoped, would open doors.

I firmly believe this was a show trial and Caroline was treated differently simply because she was a celebrity. In my documentary, a very significant figure agrees with me, having seen the evidence the producers and I have obtained.

I remember my last conversation with Caroline. She had moved to a new flat, away from the press intrusion that was plaguing her life. She was happy and we all believed that the CPS wouldn’t press charges. I looked at her, with her hair scrunched up on top of her head and her tiny, size two shoes, and said to my partner, “How can someone so little be causing so much havoc?” And that was my thought that day. Then she heard that the CPS would charge her. With that, and the tabloid coverage, I think she just couldn’t see a way out.

I’ve not been able to rest since Caroline’s death. Perhaps when other people see this documentary – which is, I hope, also a celebration of Caroline – and all the ways in which my beautiful daughter was failed, I might be able to finally stop searching for answers.

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Both episodes of Caroline Flack: Search for the Truth will be available on Monday 10th November on Disney+.

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