Call the Midwife's Sister Veronica makes a startling admission – raising huge questions

Ahead of Call the Midwife season 15, Rebecca Gethings revealed that Sister Veronica would be "forever changed" by the path her storyline was set to take.

"You're going to see a journey for Sister Veronica," she teased. "I don't know where she'll end up, but she will have been to some places and seen some things she's possibly never experienced before.

"She'll be forever changed by this series – so watch this space!"

And in the premiere, which aired on Sunday 11th January, the reason why became clear.

During an emotional exchange with Trixie's brother Geoffrey, Sister Veronica – or Beryl, as we now know her – made a startling confession. Reflecting on the life she has chosen and the sacrifice it demands, she said: "It isn't about when we can't speak, it's about what we can never say, what we can never name, because that might expose us, lay us bare. We can't afford that, can we?"

When Geoffrey acknowledged that indeed no one wants "to hear them howling", Sister Veronica quietly admitted she can no longer remain silent, before going on to lay herself bare: "I want a child. I want a child of my own, to hold in my arms and keep safe and cherish always. I want a child before it becomes impossible."

Sister Veronica has always been deeply affected by the emotional weight of her work, but a recent case involving the abused and neglected Kingsley children appears to have pushed her to a breaking point. "I don’t know how anyone blessed with such beautiful children could treat them with such hideous contempt," she told Cyril, visibly shaken.

And it seems her commitment to the young and vulnerable is about to travel in a much more personal direction. But what would motherhood actually mean for Sister Veronica's vocation?

While there are examples of women becoming nuns after raising families, choosing motherhood while very much still in service to God is a very different proposition – and would challenge the very foundations of Sister Veronica's commitment to the Order – much as it did for Shelagh, formerly Sister Bernadette, who fell in love with Dr Turner before leaving religious life to marry him and start a family.

There are real-life examples of this, as detailed in a 2013 Guardian feature about Sister Eleanor, a nun and midwife working in Liverpool in the mid-1960s who began to long for children of her own.

"I really did love God and I genuinely valued my vows," she said. "But as a midwife you're surrounded by fertility… and I started to feel this almost unstoppable yearning to become a mother myself."

Read more:

• Call the Midwife's Jenny Agutter teases Trixie's role in season 15 as Nonnatus House is threatened
• Call the Midwife legend Judy Parfitt reveals the show’s upcoming hiatus "shakes" her a bit: "It'll be hard for all of us"

Eleanor ultimately left religious life, continued working as a midwife, and later adopted two children with her husband after illness left her unable to conceive. Though she occasionally missed aspects of convent life, she never regretted her decision.

"But I've never forgotten those extraordinary years when I was Sister Eleanor, either," she added.

But it remains to be seen what will happen with Sister Veronica. In the teaser for next week's episode, it was hinted that she might adopt Christopher, the son of May Turner's biological mother, Esther Tang, who is currently living with the family while he undergoes chemotherapy – although the original intention was for him to return home to Hong Kong after treatment.

Her desire for a "child of my own", however, and her insistence on doing so "before it becomes impossible", suggests that she may instead want a biological child, which may mean seeking out fertility treatment to help her conceive.

But if Sister Veronica does become a mother, it raises serious questions about her status as a sister and her role at Nonnatus House.

"She's a surprising woman," added Gethings. "As much as I thought I knew her at the beginning of this season, she's really surprised me – and surprised herself. She’s stepping into her womanhood, in a way.

"I think there’s a part of being a nun in her that's subjugated all of that, but she’s now acknowledging that side of herself."

Call the Midwife season 15 airs on Sundays at 8pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.

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