Sarah Millican’s Secret Santa

RT's regular columnist dishes out presents to her favourite comics, including Jonathan Ross, Jimmy Carr and Stephen Fry...

Christmas is one of the rare times when you watch telly with your extended family and one of the few things we all agree on is that we all love a bloody good laugh.


No, not everyone wants to watch Secrets of World War II, Grandad; or Tom Jones: Live and Thrusting, Nana. But stick to comedy and you’ll probably be fine. 

On my shopping list for this year is a DVD of all the Morecambe and Wise Christmas specials. I expect that’ll go down a treat while we’re pumping out the sprouts and topping up the home-made ginger wine.

There’s a lot of smashing comedy on telly this year and to say thanks, I’ve bought those involved a little present. (Please note, comedians and comedy actors – I haven’t ACTUALLY bought you presents.)

Chat shows are great at Christmas. For Jonathan Ross, I’ve bought a Fawlty Towers box set and a toy phone. Jason Manford is reviewing the year so I’ve kept all my old newspapers and Heat magazines for him. Alan Carr is getting a hamper because he needs some food to go with that globe of booze.

Graham Norton needs a new chair as his red one is clearly broken. I’ve procured some yellow Woops stickers for the cast of Trollied so they can stick them on everything and give us all a bargain. And Miranda Hart is getting slippers so she doesn’t slip and trip up as much.

For Andy Parsons, I’ve got an Old Moore’s Almanack so he can get a head start on topical jokes for next year. Jimmy Carr is getting an abacus, and, for Paddy McGuiness, I’ve got a light. Because I like him. Them’s the rules.

Keith Lemon is like a teenage boy, so I’ve bought him some bromide and a bumper pack of wet wipes (to get the tan off). Stephen Fry is like that clever uncle who’s tricky to buy for, so I’ve just got him a book token. Jon Richardson will be thrilled with his jigsaw of a messy room, and for the rest of 8 Out of 10 Cats, I’ve got two more cats.

Remember, any comedy DVDs you find in your stocking are sometimes quite sweary (mine, for example). I got a fair few messages this time last year from people saying they’d put my first DVD on and watched it with the whole family. It was a bit rude for some kids and older folk. You never want to have to explain to your nana what a banjo string is. “George Formby had one, Nana.”


Enjoy a good laugh with your family and friends this Christmas. Then put the telly on for some comedy.