Hello and welcome to the last of our Game of Thrones season 7 live blogs! As usual we’ll be here following the plots, politics and pithy one-liners of Westeros from 2am GMT (unless you’re outside the UK), and weeping silently into our Dornish Reds that it’ll soon all be over.
To quote young Ned Stark at the Tower of Joy – Nowy Tendz.
This live blog is now concluded
03.59: Anyway, now seems like as good a time as any to sign off. Can’t believe we’re leaving Westeros behind for another series, but leave it we must, and prepare for the Long Night to come – aka, however many months or years it takes them to deliver the final series.
I’ve been Huw Fullerton, this has been Game of Thrones and I hope to see you all back again next series when we live blog the further twists and turns of Dany and Jon’s genetically dangerous relationship. In fact, I’m not asking – I incest.
My watch has ended. Hope to see you for another one in the final series!
03.54: Same, The Fault in Our Stars/Baby Driver star Ansel Elgort. Same.
03.50: Obviously there’s no new trailer tonight, but HBO have helpfully popped that scary undead dragon scene on the internet to give you nightmares all over again.
03.48: Overall, then, it was a great year. Game of Thrones isn’t the Sopranos any more, it’s Lord of the Rings – but it’s brilliant blockbuster TV.
That just happens to feature the hero sleeping with his close relative.
03.46: And I guess because this is the finale, I’ll have to make some effort at judging the whole series here now too….so here goes.
It’s been a shorter season, a faster season, and I know people have had some problems with that. There have been complaints about the shorter travel times, and I agree that it’s not as complex a world as it once was.
But damn if it isn’t still great TV. Just think of the incredible sequences this year, like the dragon attack on the Lannister forces, or the performances like Diana Rigg. Think of Euron, who none of us cared about a year ago!
And think of Daenerys and Jon Snow, an obvious love story that ended up far less forced than any of us expected (even if she is his aunt).
03.42: But in a fair attempt to judge it…I’d say that was a pretty great finale. After a few weeks of pretty action-packed episodes, this was more like traditional Game of Thrones – talky, a little long but with real gut-punch moments at the end.
Can you believe we might have to wait two years to see what happens next?!? They haven’t even started filming the last series!
03.39: In all that commotion, I’d almost forgot we saw the White Walkers crossing the Wall and actually about to attack the people of Westeros. Watching a man bang his aunt will push critical analysis out of your mind, really.
03.35: It is typical of a twisted show like Game of Thrones to show us Jon and Dany getting it on while revealing they’re related. It’s messed up.
And who knew Jon and Dany were original cast members of a sub-par Richard Curtis film about Radio Caroline, eh?
(Yes, I was desperately trying to shoehorn that joke in at some point).
03.34: So basically, Jon is the rightful King of Westeros. All hail King Aegon, Sixth of his name, Knower of Nothing and NOT Ned Stark’s bastard.
03.31: Here’s a quick, bang-on trend look at the complex forces creating Jon Snow.
03.30: But…wow. That was a lot at the end to get my head around.
03.28: And that’s the episode! Cor blimey.
Looks like Jon and Daenerys are gonna end up having a…
03.27: Freeing up the army of the dead to continue their massively slow march south. But with a huge evil dragon above them….
03.26: THE WALL IS COMING DOWN!
03.26: Viserion is unleashing blue flame! The Night King on his back! The Wall is falling apart! Arghhh
03.25: AHHHHH ZOMBIE DRAGON!
03.24: God this is spooky.
03.23: Now we’re back at the Wall with Tormund and Beric….White Walker army approaching! Eep.
03.21: Sansa and Arya making up yada yada yada….JON IS KING AND HAD SEX WITH HIS AUNT.
03.20: Jon when he finds out Daenerys is secretly his aunt…
03.19: “He’s never been a bastard – he’s heir to the Iron Throne!”
03.18: meanwhile, Jon and Dany are getting close….and Jon’s name is Aegon Targaryen! Whaaaaaaat.
Oh jeez, Jon and Dany are getting it on. Arghhh this is weird.
03.17: Ahh! We’re seeing Rhaegar and Lyanna’s wedding! They were together!
03.16: Sam and Bran are a great double act. Bran laying out the truth. He’s Rhaegar and Lyanna’s kid!
03.15: Sam has got to Winterfell, and now he’s visiting a slightly less weird than usual Bran.
Sam’s reaction to Bran is hilarious.
03.14: Jaime rides north in black, as the first snowflakes begin to fall over King’s Landing and a choir oo-ooo-ooo their way through the theme song.
03.13: Another Lannister brother begging her to have him killed. Jaime has finally had enough! Yay go Jaime, get out of that abusive relationship! Also, you know, maybe consider whether incest is a good life choice.
03.12: Ohh, so Euron WASN’T being cowardly – he’s headed off to bring the Golden Company.
03.10: Jaime to Cersei right about now…
(sorry, I know).
Cersei has rather cannily noticed Dany has a dragon missing. Her plan is basically to let the goodies kill the deadies, then use the Golden Company to finish them off.
03.09: Of COURSE Cersei is going back on the deal. Jaime not happy.
“I made a promise!” he says.
03.08: “Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish – I shall never forget them.”
Then Arya cuts his throat! The same dagger that he used to set off this whole Game of Thrones…
03.07: This is quite satisfying. Nice that people know all the evil stuff he’s done. And the Vale are not helping him.
Oh, and now he’s on his knees begging. Crying. This is intense.
03.05: Literally every single one of Littlefinger’s crimes from season one is being brought up now, and he’s getting more Irish as he gets worried.
Ohhhh, Bran has seen it!
Littlefinger’s inner monologue/next comment about now…
03.04: “How do you answer these charges….LORD BAELISH??”
03.03: Anyway now we’re back in Winterfell, and Sansa’s bringing Arya for trail or something? Hey look, they even managed to drag Bran in from the woods. Maybe he can helpfully tell them literally all the evil manipulating Littlefinger has done?
03.01: Sorry, forgot to say we were in another advert break. I just can’t get other that scene where Theon’s ability to withstand crotch attacks was presented as this big, triumphant moment, Alfie Allen smirking like an action star as his attacker’s knee was unable to connect with his genitals.
This is a weird show.
02.57: “Ah yes, now that we have seen your testicular might, we will follow you without question!”
TBF that might be an Ironborn custom, it’d be very on-brand.
02.56: Theon taking yet another beating…er are they making a gag out of this man failing to kick him in the testicles?
They are! That’s so weird! Like not having a penis is his superpower.
02.54: Theon’s having some trouble convincing his men to help. Hopefully they can…
“Run away little Theon…it’s what you do best.” Someone’s been studying their Star Wars quotes.
02.53: Theon’s gonna go save Yara now. Thank god we’ll have some subplots next year.
02.52: Jon being a bit nicer there now. “What I can forgive, I do.
“You don’t need to choose – you’re a Greyjoy, and you’re a Stark.”
The character arc klaxons are blaring!
02.51: Jeez, why is everyone falling over themselves about Jon saying he’s sworn to Daenerys? It wasn’t that big a deal, just a weird and dim thing to say.
Anyway, he and Theon are bro-ing out now. Whup, no, he’s being mean to Theon again.
02.49: Jon and Daenerys appear to be negotiating the carpool up to Winterfell now. Well worth the extended episode.
Any excuse to be alone on a ship with Daenerys, eh Jon?
02.47: Is Sansa REALLY this easily manipulated? Jeeez. Kick this creep out. This is so transparent.
02.46: Now we’re back in the North, and Sansa has one of those superfast ravens telling her about Jon bending the knee.
Littlefinger blaming all and sundry for her problems. What a creep.
Guess you could say he’s…
o2.45: Cersei deciding to take the moral high ground. She’s gonna help! I find this suspicious.
02.44: Genuinely not sure why they brought Theon to this meeting. Does he even have any ships any more?
02.43: Daenerys and Jon getting closssee in this pit. Jon pressing her on fertility matters. Romantic.
02.41: “I respect what you did. You shouldn’t have done it, but I respect it.” Oh Dany.
02.40: Cersei very unsubtly hinting at her pregnancy, for some odd reason.
02.38: Tyrion trying to convince Cersei to have him killed now. This is a great scene.
02.37: Looks like this is gonna be a talky episode. I can dig it. Tyrion trying to convince her he’s not all bad.
02.35: Tyrion and Jaime saying goodbye in case Cersei straight up kills them. Oh you Lannisters.
02.30: As Tyrion goes off to persuade his sister, that’s our first ad break! Enjoying this episode so far. Sad Jaime and Jon didn’t have their own little reminiscence though.
02.28: Jon’s crush has not been helpful here. But Jon only wants to be honest.
“The more immediate problem is that we’re fucked,” is Tyrion’s pithy reply.
02.26: Not sure why Cersei is so keen to keep Jon out of the war. Like, Dany has more than enough men without him. Who cares?
Cersei has now flipped the other way round and decided to let the northerners die first. She’s soooo changeable.
02.25: Euron is basically peacing out back to the Iron Islands. Fair.
Cersei is taking this surprisingly well. I suspect treachery!
02.24: Showing how the Dragonglass and fire work against it. Kind of makes you wish they’d brought a few spares so everyone could have a go practicing.
“There is only one war that matters. The great war. And it is here.”
Goosebumps, Jonny. Goosebumps.
02.23: Fair play, this is quite am impressive demonstration. They’re hacking this wight to bits and it just keeps coming. Qyburn loves it.
02.22: Ooh this is a bit scary…
02.21: Bit ironic Cersei calling Dany a usurper, given how her husband got his crown….anyway, they’re showing her the zombie now.
02.20: “This isn’t about living in harmony. It’s just about living.” Jon has really workshopped his pitch.
02.18: Can’t believe this is the first meeting of Cersei and Dany. And yet Euron is just cracking short jokes and making fun of Theon. No respect. Even Cersei’s bored of it.
02.17: Ha, Daenerys casually turning up on a dragon. Cersei doesn’t look that impressed. Sad there’s only two, though.
02.16: Ooh the Hound basically told the Mountain he’ll kill him one day (just not today – CLEGANEBOWL CONFIRMED, YOU GUYS!
02.14: Yay, Euron is here?
02.13: OMINOUS MUSIC as everyone prepares to meet. Meanwhile, Bronn’s off down the pub.
02.12: AND Brienne and the Hound chatting about lil Arya. AND Bronn and Tyrion! So much fun stuff tonight.
It’s been way too long since we had a Bronn/Tyrion team-up. Season 4, I think?
02.10: Oh, and a Pod/Tyrion reunion, PLUS a reference to Pod’s magic cock! Lovely stuff.
02.09: Oh, they’re chatting about the Dragonpit. Yeah, the old Targaryens basically ended up chaining dragons in there to stop them burning everything up, kind of like what Dany did to her scaly kids in the great pyramid of Meereen.
02.07: Jon complaining about King’s Landing is basically every northern wondering why the BBC is covering London Tube Strikes.
02.06: Nice that they’re giving Bronn a fair bit to do. One of the best things the show has done to the books is pulling out his character more.
02.06: “Maybe it is all cocks in the end.” Jaime unwittingly provides a tagline for the series he stars in.
02.04: The Unsullied doing their best to look intimidating, but sort of settling for sulky instead. Remember when they were taken out by the Sons of the Harpy, basically a bunch of trust fund kids with tiny knives?
02.03: Last time we’ll hear this theme song for a while lads *sob*.
02.02: Here we go! Strong language! Oh yes.
02.01: Oh yeah, that reminds me – if you did want a quick recap, here’s our weekly GoTV catch-up for last week’s episode, guest starring the Night King. Such a diva, he was.
01.59: We are but moments away, gang. If we don’t see each other again, just know I wish you good fortune in the watch to come.
Also, here’s a picture of me as Brienne of Tarth after a commenter on one of our videos said I looked like her. Don’t ask.
01.54: Only a few minnnuuuutttessssss but they’re stretching on. I’m jonesing for a Thronesing.
01.52: Let me know on Twitter @RadioTimes if you’re excited for tonight’s episode! If you’re not, well, keep it to yourself. Let’s keep the energy up in here.
God, I miss Jon’s long hair. Also Benjen. Hey, remember when Benjen came back for like 30 seconds last week, then died immediately? That was weird.
1.30: In case you were desperately wondering, I am dressed for the occasion tonight – and I’m giving equal prominence to my Dragon and Wolf furnishings. I hate to take sides.
01.27: Seven Hells, I almost forgot something else we might see this episode – Game of Thrones’ greatest battle yet, Cleganebowl!!!
Now, I feel like I’ve spent half my life explaining this theory to people at this point, but to keep it short: it’s a prediction many fans have that we’ll see the brothers Clegane (Sandor “The Hound” Clegane and Ser Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane) come to blows, finally clashing after the Mountain burned the Hound’s face when he was a boy.
Fans like this theory for various reasons (mainly because it’s cool), but there’s actually a reasonable chance we could see it happen tonight after years of speculation. Way back before the series started a trailer showed the Hound getting ready to fight in an arena, a scene that has yet to come to pass. Tonight WILL see The Hound and the Mountain in the same city for the first time in years. The Mountain himself has hinted it could happen.
So all in all, if it’s going to happen this series, it’ll happen tonight. Get hype, citizens.
01.13: Fingers crossed tonight’s episode finally sees one of the series’ greatest injustices resolved – Bronn not getting his castle!
01.09: Oh, less than an hour to go! And the last time in a while I’ll be typing that (I mean, I assume. You never know when you’ll be counting down to events in my line of work).
Tonight is the night…final episode of season 7…Who will die? Who will live? Enjoy #GamesOfThrones ☠️
01.07: Fingers (in bums) crossed that Euron makes it to the end. If nothing else, he’s livened up the Lannister camp no end.
Weird though, feels like he hasn’t been in the series for ages! I guess we haven’t seen him since episode 4 at least…or was it even earlier? As the live blogger, this is something I should probably know.
01.04: Couldn’t resist throwing that one in. Anyway, while we’re not sure whether a zombie dragon still has fire powers (wights are usually very sensitive to fire, which might be cancelled out or something) presumably the White Walkers could now just fly over the Wall, meaning Westeros is even more doomed than it was before. Which was still pretty doomed.
Will we be seeing that blue eyes wight dragon tonight? Well, I’d be surprised if the Night King didn’t play that card.
01.01: Anyway, we should probably stop putting this off – it’s time to talk about what happened last week. Try to stay strong guys.
You see, after a hectic mission where Jon and his Suicide Squad (or the Just-Ice League, as I prefer to think of them) went beyond the wall to capture a wight, they were cornered and needed a rescue.
Daenerys, on the heels of the fastest raven message in recorded history, gave them that rescue – but not without cost.During the battle, one of her dragons (Viserion specifically) was struck down by the Night King, sinking beneath a frozen lake in his death throes and traumatising us all forever.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, the end of the episode saw the Night King resurrect Viserion as his own personal undead mount. We all know what’s on the White Walkers’ minds now…
00.54: Can’t believe there’s still over an hour until this gets cooking. Lucky we have Tormund and the Hound (aka Rory McCann and Kristofer Hivju on a filming break) to serenade us in the meantime.
00.31: If you’re reading this, I can only assuming you’ve bitten the bullet (or, er, the arrow?) and decided to stay up to watch the finale. And if you’re in the UK, why wouldn’t you? We have a bank holiday day off work tomorrow, and it’s not like “making plans,” “seeing your family,” or “feeling the sun on your face before trudging back to work for the long, cold months” is better than watching a fantasy TV series a few hours early while struggling to stay awake!! Luckily, we have the strength to continue.
00.20: But that’s not all we can expect! We’re also getting all sorts of reunions and first meetings as Cersei and Jaime break bread with Daenerys, Jon and Tyrion, all in the hope of getting everyone on the same side against the White Walkers.
Here’s the episode trailer just to give you a taste of what’s coming…
00.15: Tonight’s episode, for those who don’t obsessively pore over the internet like me, is called The Dragon and the Wolf, presumably in reference to Jon and Daenerys’ new military (and fairly sexually charged) partnership.
However, some fans have also speculated the title could have a double meaning, finally confirming a fact hinted at in the series (and George RR Martin’s source novels) for years.
I am OF COURSE speaking about the theory (well, it’s more or less fact at this point, no?) that Jon is not Ned Stark’s bastard, but rather the son of Rhaegar Targaryen (The Dragon) and Lyanna Stark (The Wolf). By this point we already know Lyanna is definitely Jon’s mum (we saw it in flashback last year), but tonight could finally confirm Rhaegar is her babydaddy.
If we do finally learn about this, expect it to come via Bran flashback – I can’t help but imagine it’d be difficult to explain in dialogue.
00.09: So for those who watched the leaked episode, it must have been a VERY long wait. For the rest of us, it was the usual seven days – even if THAT cliffhanger made it feel a lot longer.
But we’ll get onto terrifying wight dragons in a bit. First off, what can we expect tonight?
00.04: And for once, the episode hasn’t leaked online early! What a novelty. Though we’re betting that’s partly down to HBO being VERY careful after last week’s episode was broadcast a few days too early by accident…
00.01: This is the end, beautiful friends. After seven weeks of fiery deaths, icy battles and weirdly quick journeys (did Westeros just invent warp whistles?), Game of Thrones’ penultimate series is coming to a close in one of the biggest, most hyped-up episodes to date.
My name’s Huw, and as usual I’ll be your guide as we navigate the Seven Kingdoms, take a look back at Game of Thrones history and make terrible, terrible jokes based on sub-par wordplay. Could there be any better way to say goodbye?
Well, there is Ros’ goodbye to Theon back in season one, but we’re a family website here. Let’s keep it as clean as possible, guys.
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