Lady C has had to leave the I’m A Celebrity camp on medical grounds and I am one unhappy oik.
What will be my rewaaaaaard for watching now? Yes, Ant and Dec are hilarious, Ferne McCann is an absolute delight to watch and Vicky Pattison hands down deserves to win. But it just feels like it’s all going to be a bit, well, taahhhsooome now. The remaining campers are all pretty chummy, or they just continually moan about wanting to go home. Lady C, on the other hand, was as unpredictable as Chris Eubank running backwards.
Lady C brought the rows, the controversy, the non-stop tirade of insults that could have had their own ‘red button’ slot. She knew how to play the game. Heck, she probably wrote the rules, continually insisting she wanted to stay well away from the spotlight, while dancing around merrily within its fiery warmth. Pearls on, hair done, tongue ready.
Whether she was writing off Duncan Bannatyne as a “vain old goat”, calling Tony Hadley a “total zilch” or describing the entire show a “bore” (she’s had real challenges in her life, don’t you know?) the barrrndarrrner-wearing self-appointed Queen of the Jungle always had something to say. Who’s going to pull faces behind Tony’s back now? Who’s going to grin like a Cheshire cat whenever the chance to discuss sex comes up? WHO’S GOING TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR EMU POO?
Sure, she wasn’t going to do any more trials. One doesn’t win food for arseholes, remember? But even watching her turn them down was entertaining (although, of course, thoughts go out to you dear trial setter-uppers). If she wasn’t giving a well-prepared monologue describing the many, many failings of her fellow campers, she was attempting to set up a threesome with Ant and Dec. Then, having swatted away trials like an irritating fly, she’d simply trot back to camp, resume her lounging position and continue to insult those around her almost as though she’d quite forgotten they could hear her (she hadn’t, she just couldn’t give two figs).
We’ll get a deserving winner, we always do. But the series just won’t go out with the same insult-filled bang. Snore…
I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! continues tonight at 8:30pm on ITV