I’m A Celebrity 2016 Day 9: Martin Roberts finally makes a friend… with a tree

Adam Thomas had another screaming fit and Martin Roberts communed with nature

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It was another atypical episode of I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! last night! Viewers witnessed a serenely quiet and chummy camp, which seems far away from the celeb in-fighting of past years. Plus, campmates were sitting on a great big pile of food once again – they’re officially the best-fed jungle in I’m a Celeb history.

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However, this series reached a watershed moment of weird yesterday: Martin Roberts became friends with a tree. A real insentient wooden tree. On national television. Like, not even for a bet.

But before we tackle that issue, here are yesterday’s other headlines…

Critters made camp at camp

Wildlife? In an Australian forest?!  Whaaa?!

Yup, it was a really slow start to yesterday’s episode. A few rats entered a camp and some celebs felt slightly uneasy about it: “One of the worse things about living in the jungle is the paranoia because you know that there are thousands of things watching you that you can’t see,” said Jordan Banjo, presumably thinking he signed up to the special not-broadcast-to-millions-around-the-UK-every-night edition of I’m a Celeb.

Adam Thomas made more of THOSE noises 

Viewers decided they hadn’t got enough time to translate Adam Thomas’ unearthly squeals from the previous day’s Food Factory Bushtucker Trial, so nominated the Emmerdale actor to take on the Rage Cage challenge with Danny Baker.

This involved locking both celebs in an underwater container-cum-claustrophobic hell tank containing 12 oversized plastic stars. Oh, and a medley of spiders, eels, crabs, jungle pythons and water dragons.

Each campmate was tasked to retrieve six stars, a mission Baker completed with ease. But an oversized spider was lounging on one of Thomas’s stars – a situation the soap star assiduously assessed as: “AAAAAAH!!! THERE’S ONE ON THIS!!! MMMMAAAAAAAH!! MMMMRRWWAAAAAAAH!!”

Then there were the snakes. Those poor poor snakes. Next star down Thomas greeted a nest of pythons with a thunder of grunting noises we’re presuming was parseltongue for “OH JESUS CHRISST!!! THERE’S A SNAKE ON MY HEAD!!! MHRAHAWWAHH!!”

But despite Thomas’ ‘talk with the animals’ act, both celebs emerged from the creepy-crawly-packed water tank with six stars each (that’s 12 stars total, maths fans), winning a meal for each campmate.

However, rather being treated to a dozen steaks and chips, the celeb’s food hamper was filled with 12 portions of eel. Remember, I’m a Celeb is never fair.

Martin Roberts came out as a tree hugger

No, not in a nice Greenpeace way. In a man who literally hugs trees way.

“When I’m hugging a tree I think all kinds of positive thoughts and go into a bit of a trance,” Martin explained while snuggling up to an oak.

“I gave the tree a quick introductory hug just to make sure that we could be friends.” But rather than the bark responding “ugh, it’s Martin Roberts. Please please just leave me in peace,” the forest replied with “positive vibes”, according to the Homes Under The Hammer presenter.

And soon Martin tried recruiting Adam Thomas to his lumber cult. Fortunately for Martin, Thomas willingly gave it a go. Unfortunately, the tree-newbie delivered this review: “I didn’t feel anything, it felt like hugging a tree, I didn’t get any life changing experience from it. It was weird, I won’t do it again. And Martin shouldn’t either.”

All the celebs got dunked in crawlies

And it was all thanks to the payday Dingo Dollar challenge. Basically, the celebs had the chance to cash 300D$ if they could simultaneously endure half an hour in the ‘Jungle Museum’ i.e. standing in a box with Mother Nature’s creepiest beasts plopped over their noggins.

Amazingly, the celebs conquered the task remarkably level-headedly. Thomas’ screams were kept internally, Lisa Snowdon looked thoroughly bored throughout and a chirpy Larry Lamb even started a festive sing-a-long.

Overall, the task came across like a lovely work away day. No freakouts. No in-fighting. Just 12 individuals forging life-lasting friendships together.

I’M A CELEB IS BROKEN.

The celebs reaped their Dingo Dollar rewards

With the museum closed, it was pay day for the camp: President Scarlett and VP Joel collected a menu (printed on a large sandwich board, obviously) listing various luxuries at different price points.

While all celebs secretly sought the $200 Skype call home – and Martin pined after talcum powder as he was feeling (brace your guts for this) “sticky” – all campmates decided the essentials were more important. And they were:

– Tweezers

– Swiss ball

– 4 x red wine

– 1 x white wine

– 1 x beer

– 1 x G & T

– 1 x OJ

– 2 x Teabags

Everyone is up for the next Bushtucker trial 

At the end of the episode Ant and Dec arrived to tell the camp that all 12 celebs will be facing the next jungle challenge: the non-copyright-infringing Claim of Thrones task.

The campmates will be battling it out for one of four spots in Camp Royalty, a sanctuary of hot showers and warm beds for at least 24 hours. Plus, the winners will get immunity from the first public vote this weekend. And the task losers? They’ll have to live off basic rations.

Will the celebs survive the divide? Or will an anarchical camp surrender to the teachings of Martin Roberts, Tree Messiah? Time will tell.  

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I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! continues at 9.00pm tonight on ITV