Ian Hislop, Paul Merton on first impressions of each other – and 35 years of Have I Got News for You

They may sit on opposing teams and have very different characters, but their dynamic has proved crucial to its success.

You’ve known one another for quite some time now — can you recall when you first met?

Paul: Spearmint Rhino. One of us was the act and the other one was the punter. Right. Real answer. It was a TV show called Etcetera. I was part of a cast of people who were doing a live sketch show based on the week’s news and Ian came in to do a serious interview piece.

Ian: Yeah, I came and did a rant. I don’t think it was billed as that. And then somebody – I think there was a viewership of about two, but one of them was a producer – thought, “Those two don’t look very similar to each other, why don’t we put them on a new show called Chalk and Cheese?” And then they changed the name.

Paul: Then it became Cheese and Crackers, but that felt like it was sort of…

Ian: Disrespectful.

Paul: Yeah, to the mental health community. So after that, we started doing this show.

What were your first impressions of each other?

Ian: I don’t do impressions.

Paul: During Etcetera, I was busy getting changed for another sketch, it was all live, so I suppose, "pompous public-school twit".

Ian: And I thought, "Oh God, who’s this oik I’ve got landed with?"

Paul: And no experience in the last 35 years has changed that initial opinion.

Did you have even the tiniest of inklings that you would click?

Paul: No.

Ian: And we never did.

Paul: We haven’t remotely clicked. I shouldn’t give away the secrets but actually, when you watch Have I Got News for You, we’re in separate studios. They put the picture together in the edit suite. I’m usually in Southport and Ian is in Park Lane. That’s why you never see us sitting next to each other.

Ian: It’s like the Today programme. There are certain hosts that don’t work together. Think of us as Emma Barnett and Nick Robinson.

Paul: Do they not get on?

Ian: No. Bad. Big story.

What qualities do you think each other brings to the show?

Paul: He doesn’t know. He’s got no idea. He doesn’t listen to anything I say.

Ian: That is true.

Paul: And vice versa. I’m sure this is not what Radio Times wants, but this is what you’re getting.

So how would you describe your relationship?

Paul: Tenuous.

Ian: Platonic. It used to be the other way around.

What traits do you most admire in one another?

Paul: Punctuality. That’s high up on the list, I think. Ummm...

Ian: Nice shirts.

What is one another’s funniest moment from the show?

Paul: I mean, do you watch the show? I don’t watch it.

Ian: I’d have to say there have just been so many. It’s a constant flow. Spoilt for choice, infinite variety.

Paul: Constant flow, the sort of thing we associate with Thames Water… but because it’s essentially improvised, apart from the twit in the middle who’s reading the autocue, you don’t really remember any of it because you’re sort of making it up as you go along. And so therefore, by the end of the recording, you’ve got no idea what you’ve said. Actually watching the show would be purgatory for me.

Ian: What’s the best joke you weren’t allowed to tell on the show?

Paul: I wouldn’t be allowed to say it here, for legal reasons.

Ian: Yes, unless your lawyers are less responsible than ours, or Radio Times has more money.

Paul: Oh yes, that’s a good point. They’ve been going since the 1920s, they must be worth a few bob.

Can you still surprise each other?

Ian: I was surprised when…

Paul: That time I turned up sober. Do you remember?

Ian: That was awful! Terrible show.

Paul: Wasn’t it just? I’ll never do that again. The fact Ian’s got the sheer nerve to turn up every week surprises me on a constant basis.

What have you learnt from one another, if anything?

Paul: Education is overrated.

Ian: Underrated.

But what exactly makes your relationship work?

Paul: Money.

Ian: Mutual respect of the type you’ve seen a lot of here. And a desire to take each other seriously and to treat the work seriously as though it wasn’t just turning up on a Friday and being asked questions about the news.

Paul: Well, you see that’s where Ian’s wrong. He turns up on a Friday, but we record on a Thursday.

Ian: I knew I was doing something wrong. For 30 years!

Paul: It’s 35, actually.

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