On Room 101, Frank Skinner weighs up what celebrities hate the most – here are some of the best choices…
Katie Price: people with no talent on talent shows
The glamour model railed against bad acts on Britain’s Got Talent (she probably wouldn’t have been a fan of DJ Talent, below). “It annoys me when somebody comes to audition and you know already they’re going to be rubbish. Just tell them the truth.” She wasn’t a fan of sob stories, either. “I hate sympathy. As soon as the violins start, it’s like, ‘Here we go…’”
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Joe Lycett: the barman in his local pub
The comedian accused his local barman of being unkind, sparking a bitter feud. “The beer pumps have frosting on them, like a layer of ice. I’m quite hot blooded, I get quite clammy palms, so I like to put my hand on these to cool my hand down. I put my hand on, and the bartender said, ‘Get your hands off my pump!’ I didn’t like his tone because it was very aggressive.” Frank Skinner contacted the bartender, who said of Lycett: “He always puts his hands on my bloody beer tap, it drives me insane — the nincompoop. These famous people think they can get away with murder.”
Miranda Hart: her breasts
“Out of the bra we are talking two jellies floating down a plate,” the comedian said, as she explained her cleavage woes. “It’s not the best look.” Her height only adds to the nightmare: “I don’t know if it’s because I’m too tall but I often gently nudge people on the shoulder with my breast.”
Greg Davies: people who give their dogs specific instructions
Dog lovers, look away now. Davies was riled by owners assuming dogs can understand complex orders. A woman in his local park who told her dog to get out of the bush had really hit a nerve. “Coco doesn’t know she’s in a bush. Coco has no concept of what a bush is!”
Victoria Coren Mitchell: James Bond
Here’s one woman 007 would struggle to seduce. “James Bond has been a repetitive ghastly bore for decades,” grumbled the presenter. “He manages to combine violence and sexism with a sort of weird camp fussiness about everything he eats, drinks and does… yet women are supposed to find him irresistible because he has special pens.”
Sarah Millican: dry chicken kievs
Life is cruel — and nobody knows this more than Millican, whose kievs routinely burst in the oven and lose their garlic butter. “It’s really annoying, because I could buy chicken on its own if I wanted it, but I didn’t want that, I want it with the stuff in! And I can’t cook, so I’m heavily reliant on oven-y things.”
Jon Richardson: his brain
The comedian likened his brain to “an unwanted house guest”. He was sick of “thinking about everything all the time” for 30 years and would prefer to have a dog’s brain — or that of X Factor’s twin singers Jedward.
Richard Ayoade: audiences cheering at the name of the town in which they reside
The actor and presenter was unimpressed by hometown pride. “It makes me feel like everyone’s been hypnotised, and someone’s said when your town’s mentioned you have to go ‘Wahey!’ I just don’t see why someone needs to emit that sound.”
Jimmy Carr: tax loopholes
Tax avoidance was the comedian’s pet hate when he appeared on the show earlier this year. He pointed out that he hasn’t always hated tax loopholes, since six years earlier he was one of the high-profile names using the K2 tax avoidance scheme, paying one per cent tax on his earnings, which was described as “morally wrong” by David Cameron.
Room 101 is on Fridays at 8.30pm on BBC1