James Bond – ten 007 one-liners and innuendos

As Daniel Craig prepares to reveal a new "camp" comedy side to his James Bond, we revisit some 007 zingers

Arterton in Quantum of Solace in James Bond

Daniel Craig says new James Bond movie Skyfall will feature comedy along with the stunts and gritty violence associated with his previous outings as 007.


“I’m so camp in this one, I’ve gone quite far,” Craig told The Washington Post. “There is a lightness of touch in the writing, I think, that’s not been as evident in the last two, and I’m very excited about that.”

Injecting a little humour would certainly be a return to familiar territory for the franchise, which is notorious for its thinly-veiled innuendos and wince-inducing one-liners. Here’s hoping Craig can measure up to his predecessors and deliver his lines as smoothly as they once did…

1. “And I thought Christmas only comes once a year.” [In bed with Dr Christmas Jones – The World Is Not Enough]

2. “Shocking! Positively shocking!” [After dropping a lamp into a bathtub to electrocute a henchman – Goldfinger]

3. “I think he got the point.” [After shooting Vargas with a spear gun – Thunderball]

4. “He blew a fuse.” [After electrocuting Goldfinger’s henchman Oddjob – Goldfinger]

5. “Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She’s just dead.” [While placing Spectre agent Fiona Volpe’s body in a chair after she is shot on the dance floor – Thunderball]

6. “You always were a cunning linguist, James.” [Moneypenny, on the phone to Bond while he’s in bed with his language tutor – Tomorrow Never Dies]

7. “What’s Bond doing?”

“I think he’s attempting re-entry, Sir!” [As Bond and Dr Holly Goodhead get to know one another under a blanket aboard the space shuttle – Moonraker]

8. “He suggests a trade. The egg for your life.”

“Well, I heard the price of eggs was up, but isn’t that a little high?” [Magda/Bond – Octopussy]

9. “Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?”

“I discovered it had a crush on me.” [Hugo Drax/Bond – Moonraker]

10. “Bond! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Keeping the British end up, Sir.” [Discovered in bed in an escape pod with Agent XXX – The Spy Who Loved Me]


Do you think Daniel Craig can make 007 funny? Any favourite Bond one-liners you’d like to add? Post a comment below.