The world doesn’t need yet another naff footballers’ charity pop record. No, we’ve gone beyond Gazza, Hoddle and Waddle to find a genuine Premier League five-piece and a very special guest star.
From Wayne Rooney on lead vocals (perhaps with a little help from Ed Sheeran) to Tomas Rosicky’s shredding guitar solo and Petr Cech on percussion, this is the Premier League band that needs a call-up. The ball’s in their half.
On lead vocals: Wayne Rooney
If the Red Devil striker gets over his nerves then we’re sure Wayne Rooney has the voice of an angel. His recent pub duet with Ed Sheeran might not have convinced Simon Cowell, but given time we think he can lead the line.
On backing vocals: Ryan Babel
This is actually a genuine music video from the time when Ryan Babel was meandering round Anfield. Although it sounds like he’s clearing his throat every time he spits rhythms, we sort of like the idea of Dutch rap breaking into the mainstream. Skip through to the two minute mark to find him.
On guitar: Tomas Rosicky
So this is what poor Tomas was up to while he was sidelined for Arsenal. The Gunners midfielder already has the emo hair, and judging by this video of him performing with Czech group Tri Sestry he’s got the strumming skills to match.
On drums: Petr Cech
Another genuinely impressive performance from the Chelsea goalkeeper (it’s almost like footballers have too much time on their hands…), Petr Cech fancies himself as the new Dave Grohl. Well, with Thibaut Courtois taking the number one spot in the Chelsea first team, perhaps it’s time to consider his options. The scrum cap might lead to some bad drummers’ jokes though…
On, er, dube: Dion Dublin
Some footballers follow, others lead. Yes, pundit Dion Dublin, formerly of Villa and Man United, hasn’t just learned an instrument. He’s created his own. Say hello to the “Dube”, the next big thing in percussion. Probably.
Featuring… John Barnes
How could we leave off the music mogul of Italia 90? John Barnes certainly hasn’t lost any of his, ahem, vocal dexterity: here he is bashing out Rapper’s Delight at former England defender Mark Wright’s 50th birthday. Don’t call it a comeback.