Kat’s conscience would be clear if only she’d got her thrills reading Fifty Shades of Grey like the rest of us. But instead she’s been having knee tremblers in the pub’s cellar with her shadowy lover, who this week ups the ante by setting aside a flat for their trysts. Getting kicks of a different kind is Billy. Once the runt of the Mitchell litter, E20’s torch bearer has become so popular that Alfie asks him to join the Queen Vic football team, which narks skipper Jack something royal.
Mary has her moves worked out in advance – and not just where chess is concerned. When Hayley departs to stay with a sick uncle, Mary tells Roy that he mustn’t be lonely while she’s gone. So will he end up mated in a way he’s not been expecting? Someone else with ulterior motives is Ryan, who returns with a new face and a mind set on trouble. Ex-sailor Peter, however, wants to hire a boat and leave. Trouble is, he has fewer brain cells than Captain Pugwash.
Paddy and Rhona press on with plans to move to New Zealand but soon have a surprise addition to their goods and chattels: Marlon, realising there’s little left for him in the village, is intent on emigrating too. Cameron is a man who definitely should be looking for an escape route, having now aroused the suspicions of both Debbie and walking polygraph test Cain. All of which calls for an expensive piece of bluff-calling that he hopes will solve his problems.