Lord Sugar firing lasers out of his eyes. An actual octopus confused with some diving equipment. A candidate comparing themselves favourably to Kim Jong Un.
We’ve already seen a lot from The Apprentice 2018. But after two episodes, viewers still haven’t been treated to the traditional scene of the contestants choosing a team name that normally sounds like a rejected font name.
However, during episode three’s doughnut-making task, we’ll finally see the candidates christen their new mixed-gender teams with some seriously cringe-worthy titles.
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The first of which: Team Typhoon. Put forward by project manager Camilla Ainsworth, the name is supposed to reflect the team’s “fast-paced” nature and how they’re “going to cause a storm in the boardroom”.
It’s not the only name suggested by Camilla’s team, however. Professional speaker Kayode Damali puts forward “Team Impetus”, but is quickly shot down by Sian Gabbidon as it “sounds like impotent”. Of course.
And that’s after Alex Finn’s suggestion of “Team Imperium”, which as well as sounding like some off-brand mints is “actually the lasting word for power” because “it’s important we stay powerful for every task we do”.
Still, you could argue Imperium is better than the other side’s chosen title: Team Collaborative. Put forward by Jackie (who else?), the name is agreed to without a single objection – as far as the final cut shows – with no other ideas put forward. But who would need another suggestion when you’ve already struck gold with Collaborative, eh?
Granted, the two names don’t reach the peak of Connexus, Synergy, Decadence or First Forte – all genuine names used in previous series of the show – but this year’s team names should provide plenty of classic gags in the boardroom. We’re calling it now: Lord Sugar won’t be able to resist using at least one “bag of wind” or “absolute ****storm” jibe at Team Typhoon by the end of the series.
The Apprentice is on 9pm Wednesdays, BBC1