The Great British Bake Off has always celebrated sauciness, with soggy bottom jokes, excitable squirrels and countless phallic-shaped bakes taking pride of place in the tent.


So it's no surprise that Russell Brand seemed very much at home as he triumphed in the first episode of The Great Celebrity Bake Off 2019.

Brand opted for an 'unusual' design during the sensational showstopper challenge – and it helped him to win the coveted Stand Up to Cancer apron.

After the bakers were asked by Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith to create a 3D biscuit version of their greatest performance, Brand opted to recreate a expressionist version of the birth of his second daughter – complete with a giant vagina.

Explaining the concept to a giggling Hollywood, Brand said, “I’m commemorating in the medium of biscuit the birth of my second daughter where I actuated the role of a father.

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“I’m hoping this will symbolise birth as a concept. The cosmic vagina as the portal to all life. The vagina frames everyone in the biscuit diorama.

“The placenta is the bottom, standing next to me. I have adopted the guise of a wise man.”

While Brand’s biscuit sounds questionable, the finished piece went down a storm with the judges – although Leith complained that he was a few pieces shy of the 24 required to make the showstopper.

“Look, I know you wanted 24, Prue,” Brand retorted. “But won’t you take a glance at those labia and tell me that’s not adequate?”

It was more than adequate: it secured Brand the win.

Explaining their decision, Hollywood said, “What he did was a little bit of conceptual art, very clever, very brave, and tasted amazing.”

Leith added, “He had the best showstopper, amazing biscuits, and it was like a celebration of womanhood. Great.

“Germaine Greer would have approved.”

Brand faced off tough competition in the tent, with funnyman Jon Richardson, Paralympic gold medallist Hannah Cockroft and Hollywood legend John Lithgow all vying for the top prize.

The bakers were also asked to bake brownies for the Signature challenge, and a tackle a swiss roll for the Technical Bake.

The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up To Cancer continues next Tuesday at 8pm on Channel 4.


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