In the endless expanse of lockdown, Married at First Sight Australia has been our TV lifeline, filling our evenings with romance, arguments and broken vows. Forget your gritty crime thrillers, there's more drama in a typical commitment ceremony.
Now, as the show hurtles towards its finale, we're wondering how we're going to fill our time, and hoping the weeks of investment will have been worth it.
With the couples about to decide whether their marriages are for keeps, here's what we'd like to see happen in the last few episodes.
1. Jessika and Dan get their comeuppance
Painted as the pantomime villain of this series, Jessika has annoyed a lot of viewers by sneaking around with Dan behind Mick's back. Meanwhile, Dan has tried to hedge his bets, flirting with Jessika but procrastinating when it comes to telling Tam their marriage is over.
The rest of the group were shocked when their affair was revealed, but neither of them faced any real consequences. Dan muttered "sorry" a few times and Jessika was too busy raving about how giddy Dan makes her feel. Of course, if Cupid's arrow has really struck we wish them well, but the way they treated Mick and Tam was appalling. We'd at least like to see a genuine apology, or a bit of humility.
2. Wedded bliss for Jules and Cameron
We can't deny that we're addicted to the drama of this show, but we love the romance too. While it seems completely implausible that you could fall in love with a stranger you meet at the altar, Jules and Cameron have made us believe miracles really can happen. Throughout the process they've broken the reality relationship mould, treating each other with respect, maintaining their dignity and sharing cute, tender moments. Unheard of, right?
Please, please, please let them stay together. Otherwise we're giving up on this show for good.*
*There's no way we can stick to this. But we do really want them to stay married!
3. An apology from the 'experts'
Being an expert on MAFS looks like the dream job. You get paid to gasp at footage of the couples, before grilling them about their relationships. Occasionally you attempt to say something profound about love and marriage, but that's about it.
This series though, the experts were forced to make a big decision, when Jessika and Dan asked to bend the rules and start a new relationship within the TV show. Instead of reflecting the group's mood, John, Mel and Dr Trisha prioritised creating reality show drama and came up with a convoluted excuse to allow them to proceed.
"Regardless of our views we are not here to judge or intervene in the experiment," said John. "It would cease to be an experiment, but would become a process at the whim of the experts." What a cop-out! We hope the experts apologise to the group and face some kind of forfeit. Perhaps spending the day hanging out with Jessika, Tam, Mick and Dan.
4. Vindication for Tam and Mick
Speaking of which, we feel so sorry for Tam and Mick. Wronged and humiliated on a TV show being aired all over the globe, when all they wanted to do was create a genuine connection with another person. Forget social distancing, we wanted to reach through the screen and cuddle Mick when he broke down in tears after Jessika's deception was revealed. And Tam's crestfallen face was heartbreaking.
The show may not have much more to offer them in terms of romance, but can't we give them some kind of consolation prize? A holiday? A car? Even just a foot spa? Come on E4, show them some love.
5. A few romantic surprises
At the moment, the only couple looking rock solid is Jules and Cameron. We can't say we truly believe that any of the others have what it takes to go the distance, but we would love to be proven wrong.
There's not much to get excited about at the moment, but if the show we watch in our PJs can create everlasting love for a few people that would put a huge smile on our faces. Yes the drama is good fun, but we're soppy romantics really. Let them all say yes to happy ever after!
Married at First Sight Australia airs weeknights at 7:30pm on E4, with the final episodes airing on Wednesday 24th and Thursday 25th and the reunion on Friday 26th February. You can also browse the rest of our Entertainment coverage. If you’re looking for something else to watch, check out our TV Guide.