Jonathan Ross’s new show Handcuffed proves the UK still knows no barrier like a class barrier

This article first appeared in Radio Times magazine.

I’ve had my share of enforced proximity. I once spent six long nights on the Trans-Siberian Railway, all of them sharing a carriage with a Russian fellow who spoke not a word of English. Every day we spent in our own corners; every evening we passed in quick games of silent, happy chess (I barely took a rook).

At least we weren’t handcuffed, unlike the contestants of Channel 4’s latest "competition meets social experiment" Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing, in which nine pairs of strangers are thus shackled day and night for several weeks, to see if they can survive, and even – fetch the hanky – learn to love one another.

Involuntary handcuffing with an unlikely friend has long been a go-to on screen. From the moment Richard Gere’s cop and Kim Basinger’s runaway were locked together in the thriller No Mercy, it was only a matter of time before the squabbling gave way to snuggling.

More memorably, The Defiant Ones saw prison inmates Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier on the run, shackled together because “the warden had a sense of humour”, left unpursued because “they’ll probably kill each other before they go five miles”. Confounding any doubters, by the time the credits rolled both had learnt that, as Bill Clinton liked to say, “There is more to unite us than divide us.”

It’s an optimistic worldview put to the test by the contestants in Handcuffed, a challenge nobly described by host Jonathan Ross as hopefully “going a small way to healing a fractured Britain” (and a tad less nobly, the bagging of a £100,000 jackpot by the last couple standing).

Ross adds that he’s “rooting for couples to go the distance”. Is he, though? As every reality TV exec worth their salt knows, peace, love and kumbaya are all very well, but it’s not what keeps viewers watching, hence the decision by Ross (for which read lesser-paid researchers) to pin together what Love Island producers might call “opposites on paper”.

Episode one finds Jo, an ardent feminist intent on promoting the person within, paired with Reuben, an alpha-male fitness freak who spends two hours a day in the gym and insists on calling her “baby”. When she objects, he decides “people are too sensitive”. Could these two be the new Gere and Basinger?

Then there’s Tilly, a barmaid with a potty mouth, cuffed to Anthony, a millionaire car collector who believes “manners are all”. If Tilly is lost for words when she sees his Rolls-Royce, she’s moved to tears when she learns about his childhood. As she puts it, “It explains a lot,” which could be the mantra of the whole series.

The most fascinating pair are baronet Sir Benjamin and his handcuffed, former prison officer George. We have a hint of what is to come when they arrive at Sir Ben’s 14th-century country pile, and George asks, “Do you have any animals not named after right-wing politicians?” Working-class George confounds expectations with both his historical knowledge and tolerance of Sir Ben, but after a few hours stuck together – spotting some art on the wall by a notorious German (“Adolf was slightly difficult,” admits the baron) and via a buffoons’ dinner party that could have taken place at Wannsee – even George’s patience is tested and, without spoiling it, there’s soon a shriek of “Cutters now!”

What do we learn? That whatever politicians say, this country still knows no barrier like a class barrier. And that the prison warder in The Defiant Ones knew a thing or two about human behaviour. Whatever happens to them this time around, for the follow-up series, may I suggest sticking these two for six nights in a Siberian railway carriage. What’s the worst that could happen?

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Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing will air on Monday 2 March at 9pm on Channel 4.

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