Step aside, Carl ‘Foggy’ Foggarty. I’m the new Queen of the Jungle. I endured three Bushtucker Trials and even ate critter mayo. Yep, a couple of hours was all I needed to tackle the best the jungle had to offer. So what if I was just thirty minutes from London and was actually in Thorpe Park… I sat on the throne and it counts, OK?
An I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! maze is the latest attraction to be added to the theme park, with former jungle campmates Pat Sharp, Katie Price and David Haye among those stopping by last night’s launch to see whether it lives up to the real deal.
Sharp was holding court in the Bush BBQ telling stories of jungle life, while Price was braving Stealth, the 0 – 80mph ride that tests even the steeliest of nerves. Price’s must be made of even tougher stuff: she enjoyed several goes. Hubby Kieran Hayler watched on, seemingly happier taking pictures. Having had a go myself, I wish I’d done the same.
There are no actual bugs in the I’m A Celeb maze and no one will make you leap out of a helicopter or chomp on kangaroo bits. But the staff – dressed up like campmates who’ve gone rogue – wind you up until every blast of air, moving tree or rickety bridge has you leaping out of your skin. They can grab you, I was warned (presumably in case I took it upon myself to whack them back).
Word to the wise: don’t go in wearing shorts. There’s no threat of hungry creepy-crawlies but there is crawling and no tropical sand to cushion your knees. And make sure your I’m A Celeb knowledge is up to date otherwise you’ll find yourself getting a sawdust drenching in a shower-based quiz. It may not be critters, but picking that out of your hair for the rest of the day is a task I certainly didn’t fancy. Even more hair-raisingly, you have to put your hands inside wet and slimy holes – and I challenge anyone not to at least consider the possibility it’s all a ruse and something real will bite you. (It didn’t.)
But the most alarming part was visiting Thorpe Park, which at night has a creepy ‘end of the world’ feel to it. Music eerily played to the almost empty park as rides swung gently in the gloom. It crossed my mind that it was all a wind up. Perhaps my editor had set me up for some real life reality show experience: locked in a theme park, how Lord of the Flies will they go..? I don’t fancy my chances against Katie Price.
The I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! maze opens at Thorpe Park today