Amelia Earhart? Dark energy? The Fermi Paradox? The location of Cleopatra’s tomb? Nope, can’t help you there. At all. However, we can help solve one of the other biggest questions posed by some of the universe’s greatest minds: what exactly is the deal with Kermit and Miss Piggy?
And we can tell you now, the answer isn’t a happy one. In fact, you might want to sit down for this: although seemingly a power couple to rival Kim and Kanye, the pair are no more, going into their new Disney Plus series, Muppets Now, as singletons.
How did it all happen? Well, once you’ve processed the knowledge that true love is dead, find out below what happened in the biggest breakup since Pangea.
When and why did Kermit and Miss Piggy break up?
Ask any esteemed historian and they’ll tell you it all went down, like, big time, on 4th August 2015. That’s when Miss Piggy used her tiny felt trotters to fire off a huge bombshell of a tweet. It revealed that after some “considerable squabbling”, the two had decided to consciously uncouple and would be seeing “other people, pigs, frogs, et al”.
With many previously thinking the duo would stay together until one of them croaked, the news spread throughout Twitter, with “Miss Piggy” trending on the site. And while some were concerned puppeteers had a hand in the break-up – and others thought it was a marketing stunt for their new adult-aimed Muppets TV revival – it soon transpired Kermit was seeing a brunette called Denise, while Miss Piggy had landed a relationship with the actor Topher Grace.
It’s not known whether the Muppets stars are still kermitted to these separate relationships, or have rekindled their romance with each other.
How long were Kermit and Miss Piggy together for?
Just like Hannibal and Clarice Starling, it took a while before the pair warmed up to each other – Piggy and Kermit eventually became a couple after a year on The Muppet Show in 1977. Despite a few hiccups on the way (including Piggy secretly hiring a minister to trick Kermit into signing a marriage licence – technically a felony in the US), the two announced their official engagement in 1979.
However, it wasn’t to be. Before marrying, Kermit and Piggy announced they had split on the Today Show in 1990. Writing a tell-all story in People, Piggy said: “Moi has devoted my life to making Kermit happy and never received anything in return, except a Cubic Zirconia ring he bought from the Home Shopping Network.”
Of course, the pair appeared to be back on track during the events of the 2011 Muppets film reboot, but, as we learned above, they broke up four years later.
Will the pair reunite on Muppets Now? We’ve got our trotters crossed.