Britain. The sporting nation. We love all sports, from tennis to croquet to tennis with a feathery ball. But there’s one sport we can’t abide.
Woooo american football yeahh woooo ????
— Will Hughes (@wjhughes19) February 1, 2015
Yes, American football. We don’t like the name…
American Football is not ‘football’. You guys hardly kick the ball around. You should call it American Soccer or Armored Rugby.
— Aggour (@Psypherize) February 1, 2015
…we don’t understand the rules…
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 1, 2015
…and we really hate British people who pretend to be interested just because the Super Bowl is on.
Ah Super Bowl, the night that sees the emergence of an unprecedented number of teenage American Football experts in the UK
— Charlotte (@charlvtte) February 1, 2015
If you like American football there’s something wrong with you
— cfc away (@Cfcaway) February 1, 2015
Here's everything I understand about American Sport:
American Football: Armoured Rugby
Baseball: Massive Rounders
Basketball: Runny Netball
— No Cheeses For Us Meeces (@Scriblit) February 1, 2015
My friend just tried to act like he knew loads about this and ended by saying 'it's definitely going to be the Seagulls' #knob
— Jack Whitehall (@jackwhitehall) February 1, 2015
Unlike straightforward British sports (which include terms like ‘hooker’, ‘sticky wicket’ and ‘out for a duck’) American football sounds ridiculous.
I don't really understand American football but apparently there's a guy who's the best because he has soft balls.#SuperBowl
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) February 1, 2015
Unlike the Premier League, American football is like, really commercial, yeah?
"@markcatchlove: American Football is designed purely for TV made to last as long as possible to max advertising revenue…..yes I got that
— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) February 1, 2015
They eat ridiculous food. Not like strawberries, a punnet of cream and barley water. Or prawn sandwiches.
— Caroline Millington (@ShowbizMillie) February 1, 2015
Their music choices are baffling. Not like English rugby fans singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Or footballers coming out to Hey Baby by DJ Otzi.
Seattle come out to 90s indie music and choose The Verve, if only they had some local stuff to play.
— Brian Pokora // Super Inuit (@super_inuit) February 1, 2015
We Brits don’t bother with anything as crass as a halftime show either (although, opening ceremonies are another matter, of course).
Imagine this at the FA Cup final… pic.twitter.com/X5PAQmOmjt
— SPORTbible (@sportbible) February 2, 2015
— Pie Sports Booze ? (@piesportsbooze) February 2, 2015
Nevertheless, Idina Menzel singing the national anthem is enough to inspire traitorous feelings. Sorry, your Majesty…
I'm not interested in American Football but I switched to the superbowl for Idina Menzel and I started feeling patriotic even tho im British
— hassan (@Ecstasy_Swift) February 1, 2015
…and, much as in history, the Patriots had the last laugh.
All the British people are wearing Patriots jerseys and it’s adorable
— Emma Crowley (@E_Crowleyy) February 1, 2015
Paul McCartney, a British guy, at a Patriots game? Awkward…
— Brady Sticker (@bradysticker) February 2, 2015
This Patriots’ Defense is looking shoddier than the British defense of Boston Harbor in 1773
— Tyler Eads (@T_Eads) February 2, 2015
I just heard "Boston Patriots" uttered on British television. How many Londoners wept for lost tea at that moment?
— Joe Morgan (@joe_morgan) February 1, 2015
The Patriots will never be better than The Patriot. They beat Seattle. He beat the British. pic.twitter.com/rSX85l0jgc
— Theo Von (@TheoVon) February 2, 2015
Congratulations America, see you next year!