Britain. The sporting nation. We love all sports, from tennis to croquet to tennis with a feathery ball. But there’s one sport we can’t abide.

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Yes, American football. We don’t like the name…

American Football is not 'football'. You guys hardly kick the ball around. You should call it American Soccer or Armored Rugby.

— Aggour (@Psypherize) February 1, 2015

…we don’t understand the rules…

…and we really hate British people who pretend to be interested just because the Super Bowl is on.

If you like American football there's something wrong with you

— cfc away (@Cfcaway) February 1, 2015

Unlike straightforward British sports (which include terms like ‘hooker’, ‘sticky wicket’ and 'out for a duck') American football sounds ridiculous.

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Unlike the Premier League, American football is like, really commercial, yeah?

They eat ridiculous food. Not like strawberries, a punnet of cream and barley water. Or prawn sandwiches.

Their music choices are baffling. Not like English rugby fans singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Or footballers coming out to Hey Baby by DJ Otzi.

We Brits don’t bother with anything as crass as a halftime show either (although, opening ceremonies are another matter, of course).

Nevertheless, Idina Menzel singing the national anthem is enough to inspire traitorous feelings. Sorry, your Majesty...

...and, much as in history, the Patriots had the last laugh.

All the British people are wearing Patriots jerseys and it's adorable

— Emma Crowley (@E_Crowleyy) February 1, 2015

This Patriots' Defense is looking shoddier than the British defense of Boston Harbor in 1773

— Tyler Eads (@T_Eads) February 2, 2015

The Patriots will never be better than The Patriot. They beat Seattle. He beat the British. pic.twitter.com/rSX85l0jgc

— Theo Von (@TheoVon) February 2, 2015

Congratulations America, see you next year!

Love,

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The British

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