It turns out the ‘nothing good happens after 2am’ thing is true of The X Factor, which appears to have stayed at the party too long and needs a lie down.
Filled with auditions filmed late into the night, Saturday’s show, on ITV from 8pm, all just gets, well, a little bit odd.
Even Simon Cowell looks like he could do with a couple of days in a brightly lit spa after he wanders up to the camera declaring, “Crazy flame, all the crazy moths come to the crazy X Factor” before promptly deciding it’s all Louis Walsh’s fault: “That’s down to you!”
It’s all been rather pleasant thus far, with the judges giving out countless ‘yeses’ and having a bit of a giggle together. The laughs are still there among the panel (thank goodness as it adds some light into the dark). But, for the singers, it’s a case of here come the ‘nos’.
They’re warranted, don’t get me wrong. One bloke whips out a sparkly finger cover because he’s pretty sure that’s the key to stardom. Another sings a bizarre song about plastic surgery, including the rather terrifying line ‘I’m longing for the blade’, which makes you want to hold your loved ones a bit closer.
Then there’s Christina from Holland who has such a bemused air about her you’ll wonder if she was looking for an open top bus tour and accidentally ended up in front of the judges.
Weird, but you need to see it to believe it.
The X Factor Saturday and Sunday at 8:00pm on ITV