Week after week we’ve been teased with a clip of The X Factor’s Cori Burns rolling into the audition room on her scooter and tonight we FINALLY get to find out what it’s all about. And it’s one of the best worst auditions yet.
First of all we very quickly learn it’s not a scooter, it’s a cockatooter. Because she loves cockatoos, obviously. Just check out the artwork on the front.
This leads to one of Simon Cowell’s best jokes yet:
“Louis likes a cockatoo.”
Which we’ll just leave hanging there with no further comment…
Suffice to say Mrs O finds it hilarious.
The 60-year-old singer/songwriter from Hastings isn’t unknown to Mr Cowell it transpires. Turns out she’s rolled on by in her cockatooter to deliver some songs to his record company. He doesn’t say what he did with said songs, but we’ll bargain he ‘filed’ them.
As for her audition, Cori sings Brian Adams’s Run To You, which her pet cockatoos have no doubt heard many times over and are glad of the break.
But, despite the fact that this is a singing contest, no one will really care about the vocals. It’s all about delightful Cori, her fascination with cockatoos and her cockatooter, which she merrily hops back on to zip close enough to hear the verdict. ‘Cos, you know, why walk when you can cockascoot…