The X Factor, it appears, has faced a bit too much music with things taking a turn for the bizarre tonight.
Filled with auditions filmed late into the night, the episode may have left you concerned for the future of the our charts, with the following creating what judge Simon Cowell dubbed the “crazy moths coming to the crazy X Factor flame’…
Sanish and his glittery finger
Sanish (or ‘Spanish without the ‘p’ to give him his full title) came to X Factor tonight with his own prop: one sparkly ring finger cover.
It was part of his brand, apparently.
It brought us the delightfully weird phrase ‘I wonder if his sparkly finger is going to be lucky’, but that was about all. In fact, he looked rather like he should have been queuing up at A&E instead of at the auditions. Actually, he may well want to head there to check out his vocal chords after a strained rendition of Michael Jackson’s You Are Not Alone, which failed to impress the judges. Let’s leave the sparkly outfits to Strictly, shall we?
Kazzy and his song about plastic surgery
Decked out in some sort of Game of Thrones meets Powerpuff Girls outfit, Kazzy from France declared to the judges that he was going to sing a song he’d written about plastic surgery, which went about as well as you can imagine. Sharon Osbourne was none too impressed – “How dare you!” – while the rest of the panel looked on in unabashed bewilderment as lines included: “I’m longing for the blade”. It’s certainly not destined to be Christmas Number One.
Christina – ‘who is Dermot O’Leary?’ – Postma
Dermot and X Factor. X Factor and Dermot. They go together like champagne and strawberries. Cookies and cream. Tom & Jerry. OK, maybe not last year, but we’ve forgotten about that. Everyone knows that Dermot is the X Factor host… except for contestant Christina Postma who had absolutely no idea who he was. Granted, she’s from Holland. But if you’re going to make your way to the UK auditions, at least chuck a couple of things in Google, right?
“Who are you?” she asked the host, who had to get her to repeat the question a few times before realising her dilemma. “Me? My name’s Dermot…” he said, before she wandered off for her audition looking much like she’d just happened to walk past and decided to give it a go.
What a wasted opportunity for a Dermot hug.
Philip ‘I want to be a judge’ Hadlow
42-year-old Philip from Margate was doing it for the ‘get knocked down, get up again’ crew tonight, deciding that fresh from getting four ‘nos’ he wanted to pursue his real dream of being a judge on The X Factor. Well, we say dream, he actually thinks it would simply ‘open doors’ for him. As to what other doors he would want opening, the mind positively boggles.
Shifting poor Louis Walsh out of his seat, Philip proceeded to tell the aforementioned Christina that she wasn’t “quite ready” for the competition and that she was a little “underrehearsed”. Well, you know what they say? Fake it ’till you make it…
… and finally Kazzy and his complicated lyrical work on track Friday Night
Turns out, if you yell ‘Friday Night’ over and over and over (and over…) again with a bit of dry ice around you it becomes quite the catchy track. Sure the judges looked like they’d lost their marbles as they got their groove on to the repetitive tune. But after a day of the above contestants wandering in to see them, anything with any sense of a beat was going to get them going.
Scherzy was loving it.
And it even got Cowell grooving. Watch out Ibiza, this might be coming to you.
Now, shall we all go and have a little lie down?
The X Factor continues Sunday at 8:00pm on ITV