No, you get 'Geek Island' - a bizarre parody featuring none other than University Challenge legend Bobby Seagull, alongside Miss England Stephanie Hill - who also has a first-class degree in radiotherapy and oncology.
Bobby, who is currently studying for his PhD in Mathematics at Cambridge, says he has "a large package where it counts - upstairs" in his VT for the (fictional) reality TV show.
He also adds: "When the Seagull lands the girls come flocking. I’m packing a whopper upstairs in my 19-inch cranium and I’m ready to divide the mansion, subtract the guys and multiply with the girls."
The (rather flimsy) premise of this is to showcase the fact that UKTV Play have a whole load of documentaries to binge on, and that they're launching new docs and factual programmes this September.
But highlights of Geek Island include steamy debates on quantum mechanics, macro evolution and modern geopolitics.
Click here to watch the full series. And when we say full series, we mean four lots of minute-long shorts.
Bobby Seagull will next be seen with former University Challenge adversary Eric Monkman in Monkman & Seagull's Genius Guide to Britain.