Only in I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! could the phrase “it tastes like a school rubber with wee, tomato sauce and vinegar on it” be uttered and it make perfect sense to another person.
But while scoffing down an ostrich penis what else is there to say?
Yes, the Bushtucker eating challenge returned last night in all its grotesque glory.
As Matthew Wright and Joey Essex faced off over the rotten spread of food, we learned the worst thing Joey had ever eaten was goat’s cheese.
Until a camel toe, pig’s brain, ostrich penis, a scorpion and turkey testicles were placed in front of him, that is.
Both men gallantly heaved, chomped, spewed and chewed their way through the five dishes, eager to return victorious to their respective campmates.
The head honchos at Marmite are sure to be thrilled to learn that a scorpion actually tastes just like their product spread on toast. And those makers of er, ‘gut pork’ must be hanging their heads in shame today after Joey compared it to pig brain.
No, I don’t know either. Perhaps it’s down the festive aisle?
But after the pair forced their way through all five dishes – Matthew even being made to lick his hand of the remaining turkey testicles he’d heaved out – it all came down to a cockroach smoothie race, with the first to empty their glass the winner.
The challenge of champions if you will. The Romans probably did this.
Joey was victorious, and Matthew was forced to return to camp empty handed, green with a little more than envy.