Nicholas Pinnock became a Mind ambassador after six-week stay in mental-health facility: "I was suicidal"

He also stars with Amanda Seyfried in the US drama Long Bright River about two cops working in a city hit by the opioid crisis.

Where are you up to right now?

I’m in Malta, filming [the BBC series] Two Weeks in August. I’m entering new territory because it’s a comedy. I don’t know if I can deliver, but I’d rather fail than not try at all. When I’m offered a role, I ask myself if it’s a character that scares me. If so, great! I’d never played a role like Jason in Marcella, and I didn’t know if I could play this seemingly heartless bloke in Beth. Whereas in Top Boy I played a character with a moral compass who was from a community about which I knew nothing.

Did you feel nervous when you played Jesus in The Book of Clarence and Nelson Mandela in Mandela: The Prison Years?

Yes! Those were huge challenges. Everyone knows Jesus and Mandela, so you have to represent them without caricature.

You lived in Saudi Arabia as a child. How was that?

We relocated from London in the early-'80s when I was five and stayed until I was 12; my dad was an electrical engineer and worked for a contractor out there. I went to an American international school, but it was still a culture shock. My cousins and friends in the UK were discovering hip hop and I was walking around Saudi Arabia on my own, with a boombox. The people were some of the kindest I’ve ever met, despite attitudes towards women and immigrants, which I didn’t understand as a child.

Did the experience of a different culture enhance your acting?

I understood that although we don’t look the same, we’re all the same underneath. The notion that we’re different based on the colour of our skin is ridiculous. We’re much more alike than we are different. As an actor, it made me realise that there’s no character I can’t play, no story I can’t tell: male, female, straight, gay. We can fit into any skin if we understand the human condition. I’m not a father, but I play fathers. I hardly drink, but I can play an alcoholic.

Is that why you prefer not to be referred to as a ‘black actor’?

I don’t even know what a ‘black actor’ is! If you say I’m starring in a film with black actors, people will think it’s exclusively for a black audience. These labels were designed to control and marginalise. I’m not playing that game any more – not until Benedict Cumberbatch is referred to as ‘a white actor’. There’s no equality in me being ‘a black actor’ and him being ‘an actor’.

Did Uzo Oleh write Beth with you in mind?

Uzo told me he was writing this series three or four years ago. I read it, thought it was brilliant, gave him some notes. I had no idea he was thinking of me for Joe until my agent sent me the script last year. I knew I had to be involved. It has everything to do with the colour of your skin, but also nothing to do with it. Joe and Molly are in love and want a baby that represents them both, but nature decides otherwise. Joe suspects the worst because of a lack of information – that’s happened to me so many times in relationships.

How do you watch TV?

When I’m acting, I mainly watch Asterix & Obelix on Netflix! In my off time, I’ll binge a whole series, but I’ve never seen Breaking Bad, The Wire or Adolescence. I watched a lot of TV as a kid. I became aware of my family reacting to the square thing in the corner when I was four. They’d roll around laughing to Cannon and Ball and when Elvis died in 1977, we watched his movies, and I wanted to be like him, singing, dancing, acting.

At 12, I was obsessed with The Singing Detective. Dennis Potter revolutionised telly. He became my benchmark; I wanted to be great.

Did you watch Mamma Mia! before starring opposite Amanda Seyfried in Long Bright River?

No! I just knew Amanda was a big deal in Hollywood. She is the best, most beautiful, awesome nutcase I’ve ever met. I’m totally in awe of her. I hope to work with her again.

You’ve also produced a film about boxing called Heavyweight…

It’s the first film I’ve produced and I’m very proud of it. It’s about the vulnerability of a sportsman and the importance of community when it comes to mental health. I recently became an ambassador for Mind because I struggle myself. Last year I spent six weeks in a residential mental-health facility in Tennessee. I was spiralling, I was suicidal; I didn’t want to die, I just wanted peace. The first ten days I didn’t want to interact with anyone. People scared me. Once I started to lean in, the community saved me. We bonded and became an inseparable force. We have an Instagram chain; I can reach out and say I’m not feeling great and within minutes one of them will call. Community is everything.

How have you been looking after yourself since?

I have therapy twice a week. I talk to my friends, my sister, my niece and nephews. Exercise. I listen to myself; if I don’t feel like socialising, I no longer feel guilty about it.

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Beth airs on Channel 4 on Monday 9th June at 10pm.

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