The Windmill Massacre

"This isn't hell, it's Holland," cries one soon-to-be victim of the scythe-wielding fiend haunting this Dutch slasher flick. Director Nick Jongerius's debut feature treads familiar ghoulish ground as tourists with something to hide find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere with only a sinister windmill and a dilapidated church for sanctuary. Enter the Miller, a diabolical character from legend who has a penchant for grinding up his victims' bones and proceeds to terrorise a cast including Patrick Baladi (The Office), Noah Taylor (Peaky Blinders) and Charlotte Beaumont (Broadchurch). There's plenty of head-squelching, giblet-spilling mayhem as the charred creepster goes about his grim reaping with gusto but tension is sorely lacking. It's watchable enough, if not at the cutting edge of movie slasherdom.