It was a final shot that was heavy with irony – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go stuck on the stereo while Heather lies motionless, never to stir again thanks to a whack round her sizeable jowls with a cast-iron photo frame.
In the days to come, the Square will come to terms with her sudden exit – will Shirley regret her outburst about hating George Michael? – but until then, let’s remember Hev in her karaoke-singing, 80s-loving prime…
EastEnders away days can be a mixed bag, but who can forget the sight of Heather fishing around in her bra for her food fund – “back-up cash for an emergency kebab” – or belting out I Can’t Live (If Living Is Without You) at the mic?
Marriage to Minty
Minty may have chosen Heather over Hazel as his bride but their short-lived marriage goes awry after he’s caught kissing another woman. In one of her most humiliating moments, Heather goes to the courts to have her union annulled, only to hear from her husband that he doesn’t find her physically attractive: “I just didn’t want to sleep with her,” Minty says. “I thought in time I could get over that. I was wrong.”
George Michael’s house
Looking rather conspicuous in a pair of pink deely boppers, Heather trespasses in what she thinks is the garden of her pop idol, nearly has the dogs set on her and scales a high wall with the help of best mate Shirley. “George, he’s here. I can feel him!” Heather wails. Thankfully for us (and him), she never gets the opportunity.
Who’s the daddy?
The unveiling of the father of Heather’s baby proves to be ratings gold when 9.5 million viewers watch the 23 October 2009 edition. Minty, Phil, Garry and Billy are all in the frame, but 18-year-old Darren is eventually revealed to be the father.
In a typically cheery day-in-the-life episode, we follow Heather as her money worries go from bad to worse. If this isn’t bad enough, her boiler is on the blink and pumping out carbon monoxide fumes. As Heather is stretchered out of her flat unconscious, Janine – with typical warmth – comments that Heather’s real problem is that she’s “too fat and boring”. Nice!
Shirl and Hev’s trip to Sarf’end becomes a debacle when their 1980s event turns out to be a lesbian and gay convention. The pair also argue with bouncer Andrew, who it’s later revealed has taken a fancy to Heather. They soon become engaged, but as seems to always be the case with poor Heather, she doesn’t get that fairytale ending…