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5 of the best (and worst) Sherlock jokes

Camping trips, word play and a joke about pavements… we round up some of the best Sherlock-themed jokes on the internet

Published: Tuesday, 31st December 2013 at 10:57 am

What better way to get in the mood for a new series of Sherlock than a few jokes? Series three lands on our screens tomorrow night. But before Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman get back to the altogether more serious business of how Sherlock is actually still alive, here’s a bit of silliness. 


Add your own jokes in the comment section at the end… 

1. Camping

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." 

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." 

"What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. 

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” 

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, someone has stolen our tent!" 

Via jokes4us

2. Paintings

One day, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business, when they uncovered an unusual painting.

At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if one looked closer, one could see that it was a remarkable painting. The tree trunk was actually made of fire, and its branches were made of ice, clouds and earth.

"What is it, Holmes?" asked Watson in awe.

"It's an Element tree, my dear Watson," replied Holmes.

Via angelfire

3. Chasing pavements

Q: Did you hear that Sherlock made a song called “The Pavement”?

A: Yeah, it was a hit! 

Via wattpad

4. Looking for limestone

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are busy with yet another complicated case. Suddenly, Holmes seizes a chunk of blood-spattered limestone from the ground.

"What is it, Holmes?" asks Watson, eagerly.

Holmes turns and replies, gravely, "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson.”

via angelfire 

5. Watson talks Sherlock

What did Dr Watson say about Sherlock? 

There are no police like Holmes. There are no police like Holmes… 

via Wikianswers 


Sherlock series 3 begins 9:00pm, January 1st, BBC One


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