WARNING: SPOILER ALERT...
Here at Radio Times HQ we know you like to keep on top of the goings-on in Walford, Weatherfield, Ambridge and the Dales, so we've provided a summary of the latest scandalous trysts and dramatic cliffhangers set to hit your TV screens in the coming week:
Peter and Carla are fast becoming a backstreet Burton and Taylor and look set on acting out their very own version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Only Peter's son Simon is very real, and he's lying unconscious on the sofa next to an open bottle of wine.
Sunita, on the other hand, is taking her Hollywood inspiration from Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction as Karl tells her that their brief affair is now over. Believe us, Karl - Sunita's not going to be ignored.
The chances of Derek going straight are pretty slim. In fact, you're more likely to witness Phil Mitchell taking up tai chi in Albert Square than seeing Derek earn an honest daily crust. But if his rapprochement with Alice is to stand any chance of survival, then it looks like this is what he has to do.
Change is also in the offing for Abi, who receives a letter offering her a scholarship trip to Costa Rica. But does she have the heart to leave Jay, her rheumy-eyed, pasty-faced other half, who these days can't even be trusted with a bottle of cough mixture? In happier news, the glorious Poppy Meadow is back. That is sooo lovely!
Ignoring the fact that her estranged son's arrival actually makes her own character bearable, Megan makes it clear to Robbie that she's serious about her offer to pay for him to travel.
If only Ashley had ready access to such funds. Having now slept on the floor more often than Marine Sergeant Nicholas Brody in Homeland, the former vicar decides to do something about his state of penury, collects his valuables from the house and hands them over to a pawnbroker.
You have to take your pleasures where you can find them in a small village. For years, there was nothing more exciting on offer than Bert Fry's competitive ploughing and then along came Iftikar in his cricketing whites and nothing has been the same since. This Sunday sees the single-wicket contest, which causes lust levels to rise to new heights - only this time Ifty must share the spotlight with Jamie Perks.
Hoping to keep a lower profile are the Brookfield Archers, who are dealing with the repercussions of Ben's grim discovery. And Ruth, who's finding it increasingly difficult to protect her boys from the increased levels of witness intimidation, begins to question the wisdom of taking part in Open Farm Sunday.