Scottish Mussel

Scottish Mussel

Talulah Riley (2015)

15 Certificate


Our Score
A resourceful Scottish chancer falls for a conservationist in a film that encompasses ruthless gangsters and endangered Highland mussels. From this very strange premise emerges an even stranger film. Talulah Riley gives herself the starring role as writer/director (in her behind-the-scenes debut) and makes Martin Compston her leading man despite their staggering lack of chemistry. That makes the film all the more puzzling as it grasps around for purpose, mired in bad dialogue that leads to dead-end subplots. Additionally, the lack of any credible threat, either from cardboard gangsters or stilted love rivals makes this a series of peculiar misadventures. All the jokes miss the mark as well even though, surrounding the couple, are familiar faces in comedy including Harry Enfield and Russell Kane. Mostly, the supporting cast do horrendous accents and contribute little to the plot. Listless from start to end, there is nothing to be salvaged from this dreadful Highland fling.


An illegal pearl fisher has a change of heart when he falls in love with a conservationist. Romantic comedy, directed by and starring Talulah Riley, with Martin Compston, Morgan Watkins and Joe Thomas.

Cast & Crew

Ritchie Martin Compston
Beth Talulah Riley
Ethan Morgan Watkins
Danny Joe Thomas (1)
Fraser Paul Brannigan
Bill Harry Enfield
PC Dougie Rufus Hound
St Clair Russell Kane
Leon Emun Elliott
Aunt Nettie Camille Coduri
Ms Pringle Rachael Stirling
Headmaster James Dreyfus
Zach Conor McCarron
Director Talulah Riley
see more

Other Information

Language: EnglishColourTheatrical distributor: BulldogGuidance: Swearing, drug abuse.Available on: DVDReleased on: 23 Sep 2016
Comedy Drama