It's fair to say expectations of Danny Dyer's latest film Run For Your Wife – co-starring Denise Van Outen and Sarah Harding – weren't exactly lofty ahead of its release last Thursday. But the comedy's opening weekend takings spell a tale of woe that not even its harshest detractors could have anticipated.

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Following its Valentine's Day release in the UK, the British movie has rung up a mere £602 at the UK box office – an average of just £67 at each of the nine cinemas screening it. Even an extra £320 from previews is not going to have the producers of Skyfall worried.

The figures are even more disappointing considering the string of illustrious actors who made cameo appearances – Judi Dench, the late Richard Briers, Ray Winstone, Andrew Sachs, Dennis Waterman, Prunella Scales and Bernard Cribbins all popped up.

Run For Your Wife is adapted from Ray Cooney's 1983 West End farce, which ran for almost nine years, and follows the story of bigamist taxi driver John Smith (Dyer) whose two wives are unaware of one another's existence.

Written and directed by Cooney, the film has been savaged by reviewers, with The Independent labelling it "pretty much a catastrophe", while the Guardian described it as "woefully dated in its misogyny and homophobia".

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Sixty-five further cinemas – mostly Odeons – have plans to show the film this week which, if it maintains its current level of success, would push it past the £5,000 mark. If you're considering helping out, you might want to watch the trailer (below) first...

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