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The Best...long-running soap character

Minnie Caldwell, Ena Sharples, Martha Longhurst in Coronation Street
  • Posted at 4:06pm
  • 08 February 2008
  • by Patrick Mulkern-RT
  • 5 comments

So Vera Duckworth, Corrie's original neighbour from hell, has shuffled out of Weatherfield to take her rightful place in the bulging pantheon of soap immortals. For 33 years, Liz Dawn seared herself into our retinas – and eardrums – as the common-as-muck loudmouth with stone-clad pretensions. Comedy gold. And it set me wondering: who is the greatest long-running character in Soapland? And do I have my own all-time favourite?

I apologise in advance for the fact that I know practically nothing about The Archers or Emmerdale and must tiptoe past Crossroads for qualitative reasons (sorry, Meg, Benny, Amy Turtle et al), so I'll only dwell on the faces of EastEnders and Coronation Street.

The undisputed Methuselah of Soapland, as we all know, is Ken Barlow, who appeared in the very first Corrie (9 December 1960). Then a bright young student, Ken looked down his nose at the local lumpenproletariat. He'd go far, surely? Yet how far has he progressed in those intervening 47 years? To the house next door.

And what of his original co-stars? Back in 1960, faded good-time girl Elsie Tanner examined her neckline in her compact mirror and concluded: "Ee, Elsie. Just about ready for the knacker yard." But she was wrong. Actress Pat Phoenix was determined to transfigure Elsie into a glamour puss and she quickly became the first Queen of Corrie, remaining so for 24 years.

Elsie's nemesis, the morbid battleaxe Ena Sharples, was also a survivor, supping milk stout in the Rovers' snug well into her dotage in 1980. Lasting 23 years was landlady Annie Walker, who held court behind the bar with withering condescension and delusions of grandeur. Interestingly, all three Corrie icons moved on to pastures new, but none has ever been officially pronounced dead within the narrative. We can only hope that, off screen, Ena met her desired end: "I'd like to go like me mother did... She just sat up, broke wind and died."

Although the Street's menfolk - oafish Stan Ogden, lothario Len Fairclough and affable grocer Alf Roberts - all made their mark, it's indisputably the women who've been the enduring force. Drippy Emily has been around since episode 15. Wonderfully arch Rita made a one-off appearance as an exotic dancer as long ago as 1964, before becoming a permanent fixture in 1972. Now 76, she's looking good despite all those early rises to sort out the paperboys. Betty, who joined in 1969, must now be the world's oldest barmaid at 88.

Other Street stalwarts are Deirdre and Gail who debuted as trendy totty in 1972 and '74. They've since suffered most of Soapland's travails - heartbreak, psycho suitors, kids from hell... Their mothers have changed, too. Flighty man-eating Audrey turned up in 1979. And way back in 1974, Deirdre's mam Blanche was quite the Juno-esque vamp. Hard to picture, isn't it, now she's established as an arthritic old gossip (getting all the best lines)?

As for EastEnders, which began in 1985, well, slimeball Ian Beale seems bent on becoming the Ken Barlow of Walford. He's the sole surviving original cast member, but surely wouldn't win any prizes for popularity. Stroppy Pauline Fowler was also there from the start; she lasted 21 years and should have stayed in Albert Square, souring in her own bile until the metamorphosis into her mother Lou was complete.

Clapped-out prostitute Pat turned up a year into the run. Once officially the world's worst mum, she's had a succession of dysfunctional families grafted on to her – the wages of sin, clearly, as well as a means of sustaining her role in the drama. Many would swear that Dot was in Walford from (yes, groan) the year dot; actually, she debuted in episode 40. A dramatist's gift and beautifully played by June Brown, the tragi-comic Bible-basher was recently honoured with a monologue episode.

Top thug on the block is Phil Mitchell, played with note-perfect ease by Steve McFadden. According to www.imdb.com, he's clocked up more episodes than any other EastEnder (almost 1,700). Mitchell matriarch Peggy began life in 1991 in somewhat burlier form (actress Jo Warne). Since 1994 petite Babs Windsor has made the part her own with her startling wigs, obsession with "famerlee" and "get outta my pub" mantra.

So, my all-time favourite...Bet Lynch? The Rovers' brassy landlady who used to parade behind the bar like some drag queen manqué calling everybody "cock"? No. Far too obvious. After much character analysis (and assassination), I've been wilfully obscure and plumped for a former occupant of No 5 Coronation Street who left the show in 1976 – Minnie Caldwell. Eh? Anyone remember her? A daft and soppy cat-loving pensioner, she was like everyone's ideal nan. She enjoyed a tipple and a flutter, and was the perfect foil to Ena Sharples. Best line: "Oooh, Ena!" Delivered a thousand times. As simple as that.

My choice is bolstered by the knowledge that, in reality, actress Margot Bryant was the antithesis of timid Minnie. Her colleagues, including producer Bill Podmore and Julie Goodyear (Bet), have revealed in print their shock at Bryant's abrasive manner and filthiest of potty mouths. It's a jaw-dropping contrast, refuting the unwritten rule that soap stars play extensions of themselves. And that's always tickled me.

Please let me know who's your top long-running character in soap. They must have lasted at least ten years.

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Comments

  • Posted on 24 July 2008
  • at 2:25pm
  • by Scot

I love Corrie. Although I never saw the early episodes when they were originally shown - as I'm only 19 - I bought them recently on DVD and I love Pat Phoenix - a sexy babe who of course married Tony Booth. But my all - time favourite is Bet Lynch - the brassy blonde landlady. For me, she's the Queen of Corrie. God save the Queen!

  • Posted on 20 March 2008
  • at 12:34pm
  • by mister_tmg

Out of Emmerdale, one must mention the wonderful Betty Eagleton, gossip-supreme.

  • Posted on 08 February 2008
  • at 8:19pm
  • by StreetWalker

My memory is clearly addled by too many milk stouts in my youth. And before some arch-bore points it out, of course I meant Weatherfield. Or was it Wetherby?

TMI about Corrie? Never.

  • Posted on 08 February 2008
  • at 7:39pm
  • by PatrickMulkern-RT

Dear StreetWalker,

Fabulous moniker! And what a memory you have. Great quote from Mrs Sharples there.

Emily is still in the series, you know. This would have been a case of TMI for the article above but, according to my sources, "Miss Nugent" first appeared as a non-speaking extra in Mr Swindley's vestry in episode four (21.12.1960). The part was soon fleshed out and Eileen Derbyshire cast a few weeks later, making her the longest-lasting woman in Corrie - at 47 years and counting...

  • Posted on 08 February 2008
  • at 6:22pm
  • by StreetWalker
I'm an Elsie fan myself. She's the Norma Desmond of Weatherley, still living it up on the Algarve I should think. I treasure Ena's comment on La Tanner's entrance at the Rovers in one of her more voluptuous ensembles: 'One sneeze and it'll be all over t'floor.' I was tempted by Emily Nugent, if we're talking wilfully obscure, but not sure she lasted long enough. But with Valentine's Day coming up we have to give the top soap couple award to Emily and Arthur (Swindley). OK, he dumped her at the altar, but the courtship was very sweet. Or we could list romantic disasters, topped by Lucille and Dennis Tanner. A shame that one never got off the ground: Annie and Elsie would have made great in-laws.

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